Independent AdoptionThousands of newborns are placed each year through private adoption. You'll need an experienced attorney to guide your way. by Mark T. McDermott, J.D.
In a private or independent adoption, prospective adoptive parents are advised by an adoption attorney, instead of working with an adoption agency. This form of adoption is specifically authorized by law in all states except Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, and Massachusetts. Because adoption is, for the most part, controlled by state law, aspects of independent adoption vary from state to state, and you'll want to engage an experienced adoption attorney who is knowledgeable about the differing requirements. To learn about the adoption policies specific to your state, visit adoptivefamilies.com/adoption-resources.php.
In a typical independent adoption, the prospective parents take an active role in identifying a birthmother, usually by networking, advertising, or by using the Internet.
Another difference between independent and agency adoption is the method by which the birthparents give their consent to adoption. In an agency adoption, the birthparents relinquish their parental rights to an agency, and the agency, in turn, consents to an adoption by specific adoptive parents. In independent adoption, the birthparents give their consent directly to the adoptive parents.
The role of the adoption attorney varies by state. In most cases, your lawyer will handle all the legal documents, negotiate payments to the birthmother, and represent you at the adoption court hearing. Some states also let attorneys help you locate and screen birthmothers. While 46 states allow independent adoption, not all of them permit advertising for birthmothers. A good lawyer will make sure the birthfather's rights are addressed and that you get a homestudy that complies with state requirements. If the adoptive parents and birthparents live in different states, your lawyer should understand the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, a uniform law that sets procedures for the transfer of children from one state to another. Finally, a good lawyer will put your interests first. Some states require birthparents to have separate counsel, but even if your state does not, you should have a legal representative who works for you alone. This is also ethical legal practice.
The benefits In this country at least as many newborns are placed each year through independent adoption as through agency adoption. While it is difficult to say why birthparents might prefer independent adoption, they do report some reasons consistently, including: a perception that agencies are bureaucratic; a desire to play an active role in selection of the adoptive parents; and a desire for the child to go directly into the physical custody of the adoptive parents rather than into temporary foster care.
From the adoptive parents' perspective, the advantages of independent adoption extend beyond the ability to play an active role in the selection of specific parents. Other benefits include the possibility of avoiding the long waiting periods that may occur with agency adoptions and the ability to adopt even without meeting the sometimes arbitrary standards that may be imposed by agencies.
The “openness" that is characteristic of independent adoption may offer psychological benefits to the birthparents, the adoptive parents, and adopted children. In some states that permit independent adoption, birth- and adoptive parents must have one or more face-to-face meetings.
How it works All of the services that are traditionally provided to the parties in an agency adoption can also be provided in an independent adoption. For example, medical and social histories are obtained not only by the adoptive parents themselves, but also by the attorney representing the birthparents. The histories are then preserved by the adoptive parents and their attorney. Psychological counseling is also available to the birth- and adoptive parents and is generally recommended by the attorneys handling independent adoptions. Homestudies are required in all states. Your attorney can refer you to qualified homestudy providers and counselors experienced in adoption issues.
In independent adoptions, it is common for the adoptive parents to be present at the hospital, even at the time of birth. In addition, the adoptive parents typically can help care for the child in the hospital. It is also common for the child to be discharged from the hospital directly to the physical care of the adoptive parents.
No state allows a birthparent to give a binding consent to an adoption before the birth of the child. In addition, states mandate various minimum waiting periods after the birth before a consent can be signed. States also have varying laws governing whether or not birthparents are permitted to change their minds for a period of time after giving consent. Some states make the consent immediately irrevocable upon signing; others allow birthparents to revoke consent for a short period, such as 15 to 30 days from the date of signing. Check the Adoptive Families state-by-state listing of this information and requirements at adoptivefamilies.com/adoption-resources.php.
Mark T. McDermott, J.D., is a Washington, D.C., attorney. He is a past president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys and an adoptive parent.
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Comments
my husband & i are going to adopt a baby from his sister who lives in samoa(we live in Australia)no money will be involved still what steps do we have to take to bring the baby back to Australia. Thankyou Tracey
Posted by: tracey at 11:49am Oct 11
I adopted my daughter on 10/10/08 through domestic private adoption. I found the birthparents through a cousin out of state. The baby was already 16 mos at the time of adoption. The actual legal process was very simple but a few times along the way I could see where having an agency to keep things moving along would have been helpful. I used a lawyer in my home state (NJ) and one in the home state of the baby (OH). Both were very knowledgeable professionals. The best part for me is that my daughter's birth parents can remain a part of her life and that means a great deal to me. Julia
Posted by: Julia at 10:08am Nov 5
While it is true that in an agency adoption the agency retains legal custody until finalization, the adoptive family gets immediate physical custody if the birth mother has chosen a family. The relinquishment is also a 'designated' relinquishment naming the adoptive parents she has chosen and the termination of her parental rights happens more quickly than with an independent adoption. It is very rare that a baby would need to go to a private foster home at all. The adoptive parents get to care for the baby in the hospital - we even arrange for them to have their own room. Openness is also offered - encouraged - with an agency adoption and the birth parents get counseling services providing them all of their options so they can make the best choice for their child. It saddens me that this article is written in such a way as to imply that agencies don't provide certain services, when if fact, typically offer all members of the adoption triad much more services than an independent adoption does. One of the most important being prepartion in becoming an adoptive parent. At least that has been my experience in California as both an adoptive parent and adoption professional.
Posted by: Peggy at 11:34am Mar 3
We were in the international adoption process but it was taking too long (almost 4 years for China). In order to remain "in line" for international adoption, our only other option was to hire a private attorney for domestic adoption. We were told by domestic agencies (including foster care by the State) that we could not apply if we remained in the international adoption line. Here is what I learned from one highly regarded attorny from Seattle. It is VERY important to network with family and friends in independent adoption. You never know who might know a highschool girl or a gynocologist who knows of someone looking to place their child for adoption. I told a friend of mine who was a high school counselor for example. Don't be shy about it! Write a one page letter to them in PDF and email it explaining your situation. The letter should include a photo. Also, make a web site, set up an 800 number (www.kall8.com is a good one), be present on myspace.com make friends with teens in your community, tell people at your church. You will be amazed at how receptive people are to your situation. Good luck!
Posted by: Emily at 1:48pm Mar 3
My husband and i have been trying to adopt for two years through a private adoption agency. Our hearts have been broken on more than one occasion. Will we ever have a child to call our own?
Posted by: Shana at 11:42am Jul 21
My husband and I had started our home study process and chosen an agency out of state. We are currently halfway through the home study, and are done with the agency paperwork and were ready to send it in, when one of our friends came to us with a situation. A friend of a friend's daughter is pregnant and looking for an adoptive family. We hadn't even considered independent adoption as an option because of the uncertainty of the wait time and the advertising. But we had announced our adoption plans and setup a group on facebook, and within 2 weeks this situation came to us, without trying! You truly never know who is 2 or 3 degrees away from a potential birth mother. We just found out, and are still waiting to meet her, but just the possibility and the surprise of the situation is great. It was worth the effort of spreading the word even if it wasn't our goal.
Posted by: Jen at 12:58pm Aug 6
Hi HAve other adoptive parents worried that the B parents have your personal info and may call or bother your family in later years? How can you protect yourself? IS this a red flag if they know your last name?
Posted by: Brenda at 6:34pm Oct 10
28 year old Oregon woman seeks Loving, secure, couple to adopt a baby I could not love unconditionally.
Posted by: Amanda Walton at 5:53am Feb 9
Hi Amanda, My husband and I are interested in adopting. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk more. m2m4christ@yahoo.com Melissa
Posted by: Melissa at 3:52pm Feb 27
Amanda, I invite you to visit my site: type http://www.jkpadopt.yolasite.com.into your browser window. Have a blessed day!
Posted by: Karen at 11:30am Mar 16
Amanda, have you found anyone you are interested in yet?
Posted by: Brent and Chelsey at 10:51am Mar 28
Hi Amanda, Please email us @ cu1kw@bellsouth.net Hope to hear rom you soon!
Posted by: Kathy at 7:17pm Apr 25
hi, My husband and i are looking for a mother who wants to give up a baby for Private adoption through a laywer. Thanks
Posted by: Jenny Hernandez at 12:02pm Jul 5
We can be contacted through my email jbhernandez979@yahoo.com
Posted by: Jenny hernandez at 12:03pm Jul 5
Hello, My husband and I are looking for a mother that wants to give up her new born up for private adoption. Please if anyone out there can help, would appreciate it alot! Thank you!
Posted by: Adela Fryhover at 6:15am Jul 8
I have a question. I as a pregnant women. Where do i look for private adoption possibilities...this looks to be for adoptive parents? Etnieschica17@yahoo.com
Posted by: Angie at 12:24pm Oct 7
My husband and I are want to adopt a baby or small child in Missouri. We want it to be an independent adoption using an attorney. You can contact me at debrawidner@ymail.com
Posted by: Debra at 7:38am Nov 10
Hello, I'm a salon owner and my Husband is an electrian. We have been together for 5 years and married for 3 and have not been able to have a child. I'm almost 30 and hes 33. We would love to find a birthmother willing to bless us with their baby, using an independent adoption. Please email if interested. Thank you!!!
Posted by: Angela Christian at 10:44am Mar 2
Our email angiechristan83@gmail.com
Posted by: Angela Christian at 10:50am Mar 2
My name is Melissa. My husband and I have been married for 14 years . Together we have three boys the youngest is 10 . We always wanted a big family .I cannot have anymore children ,we would love to add another child threw a private adoption
Posted by: Melissa at 5:48pm Mar 23
looking to stop the adoption proccess through private adoption. The mother set this up and I need to know how to gain custody of these twins legally.
Posted by: david pietsch at 7:39pm Apr 28
I'm pregnant and have a couple weeks left to make a decision...I prefer a closed (?) adoption and I think the independent adoption sounds a bit more appealing to me as I'm open or more leaning towards non-religious or LGBT adoptive parents, or any couple who would usually have a harder time going through an agency. I've been doing internet searches for the past hour and can't seem to find a solid site that has the information I'm looking for, or rather someone I can talk to without going through an agency. Any help is appreciated : ) Thanks!
Posted by: T at 7:57am Apr 30
Oh, an email I can be reached at is Snoooooty@yahoo.com. Sorry I'm comfortable posting my personal email quite yet : )
Posted by: T at 7:59am Apr 30
I am 27 and husband is 31 we have been tryin to get pregnant for 4 + years. We are lookin to do a privite adoption of a new born. Any help please please email me cheeka1012@aol.com
Posted by: christie m at 5:59pm Jun 10
Hi, I am 24 years old, my husband is 27. We have been married for four years and are seeking to adopt our first child. We would love to hear from anyone who is expecting and interested in an independent adoption... please email me at jalrogers@hotmail.com for more information!!
Posted by: Jess at 2:47pm Jul 16
Hello, my name is Maria and my husband and I are willing to adopt a newborn. We are a loving couple with a stable marriage that want to give all our love to a baby that we can raise as our own. I am Mexican and 45 years old. I'm Catholic, but religion is not a problem for us, because he is Christian and we don't have a conflict with that. He is from Dutch ancestry and American, 56 years old. We don't have children of our own. If you want to contact us, email me at harissa7@hotmail.com. Our home can be a safe and loving place for a baby to grow.
Posted by: Maria Boer at 3:46pm Jul 16
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Posted by: - at 9:03am Nov 20
Hey, Me And My Fiancee Are Wanting To Adopt A Child, If Anyone Can Help Please Email Me At, Great.childcare.provider@gmail.com, Thx!! :)
Posted by: Heaven at 9:59pm Dec 10
Hi! My name is Michelle and I came across this site in hopes to find info on adopting a baby. My husband and I heard the adoption process can take years so with that being said we would like to start th process sooner rather then later. If ANYONE would like to discuss adoption with me..... PLEASE feel free to contact me personally! I would love to hear from you. My email address is michelleksood@gmail.com.
Posted by: Michelle at 11:24pm Dec 26
Hi my name is Tiffany looking to start a private adoption with an African American or mixed race infant I'm willing to help the mother as much as possible open adoption also ok with me. Feel free to email me tiffanymurphy1988@yahoo.com
Posted by: Tiffany at 6:52pm Jan 4
I'm Belinda and 42, my husband, Jeff, is 48. We live in North Carolina and after 14 years of marriage, are struggling with our future if we are not to be blessed with children. We have 27 nieces and nephews (and love them tremendously) but would love to have a child of our own. Honestly, the financial obligation associated with agencies- prevents us. Please contact me if you have made the decision to allow another family to love your child as you do.
Posted by: Belinda at 12:18pm Feb 19
I'm Nichole and my husband, Travis, and I are both 25. We are looking to adopt a new born up to one year old. We are interested in an open adoption and are also open to any race or ethnicity. Feel free to email us at nichole.harris@yahoo.com
Posted by: Nichole at 1:40pm Apr 25
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