Adoptive Families, the award-winning national adoption magazine, is the leading adoption information source for families before, during, and after adoption.


A New Sister

by Joni Mantell

Have a question? Ask our panel of experts.

Q: We’ve been reading a Big Brother book to our three-year-old son (adopted at birth) to prepare him for the arrival of a six-week-old sister. Should we take him to visit the baby at her foster parents' home? What else can we do to prepare him?

A: By reading a Big Brother book, you've given your son time to contemplate the idea of a younger sibling. I would not advise taking him to visit his new sister at her foster parents' home. Doing so might cause him to question where he was during his time between birthmother and adoption, and whether he was safe. It is too much to think about at age three. Because children have such a different perception of time, you only need to bring up his actual sibling very close to the day she arrives. What's most important is for you to continue to have time alone with him while he adjusts to his sister.
--Joni Mantell
Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center, Pennington, New Jersey

Back To Home Page

©2014 Adoptive Families. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited.

Post a comment

Your name

Email address (Will not be displayed)


Your comment may be subject to approval before displaying. By submitting a response to our topic, you give Adoptive Families the right to modify, publish, and reproduce your submission in the magazine, on its website, in the Adoption Guide, or in any AF syndication, anthology, or electronic database. There is no payment. You certify that these are your own words and that you have not violated any copyright laws. If you'd prefer to respond for background only, please specify in your response. If you don't specify one way or another, we'll assume that it's OK to quote you.

Find Adoption Services


Find Adoption Professionals






Subscribe to Adoptive Families online or via toll-free phone 800-372-3300
Click to email this article to a friend.
Click for printer friendly version.

Child Development, Family, Health, and Education Research

Magazine Publishers of America