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Ideas for Helping to Ease a Spouse’s Reluctance



  • Acknowledge your spouse's concerns and fears; try to listen with interest, not judgment.


  • Air and discuss the differences between you, rather than trying to cover them up or smooth them over.


  • Don’t take a spouse’s initial reaction as the final word. When a subject is emotionally charged, people often say things they don’t really mean.


  • Give a spouse time and space to consider issues as they arise; recognize that people approach change at different speeds.


  • Find a support group of other couples considering adoption. Hearing that they, too, have reservations may help both of you.


  • If your spouse isn’t providing the support and encouragement you need to cope with the rocky adoption process, then seek it from a sympathetic friend or relative.


  • See a marriage counselor if you have trouble navigating any of these issues. A reluctant spouse may hear questions and advice better from a neutral observer.


    • ©Copyright 2002 Adoptive Families magazine. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Subscribe to Adoptive Families online at www.AdoptiveFamilies.com or via toll-free telephone: 800-372-3300.

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