How Should We Deal with Unsupportive Relatives?

Relatives say the strangest things! Our readers explain how they dealt with unsupportive family members while waiting to adopt.

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Q: My husband’s family is unsupportive and will tell him that we shouldn’t be “doing this adoption thing.” The adoption process is difficult and emotional as it is, and dealing with their negativity on top of that is so frustrating!

A: Members of adoptivefamiliescircle.com respond:

“I’m waiting to adopt, and was adopted as an infant, so I feel like I’ve spent my whole life dispelling fears and misunderstanding about adoption. Hang in there! Our agency offered two days of classes for ‘support people’ (especially those who weren’t so supportive), and those two days helped a lot of family members gain a better understanding.”

“We in the adoption community may take for granted the incredible amount of research we do before deciding to adopt. Family members haven’t, so they may hold some wacky ideas about adoption. Educating my family was a long process, but worth it.”

“There are at least two books, written specifically for family members of adoptive parents, that come highly recommended: In On It and Adoption Is a Family Affair.”

“I hear ya! My parents called our child a ‘maybe baby’ until the papers were signed. It hurt my feelings, but I didn’t let it deter me. Once your baby is here, they will forget all of that and fall in love.”



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La Crosse
WI
Adoption Routes/Programs
U.S. Newborn, International
ADOPTIONS FROM THE HEART
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Wynnewood
PA
Adoption Routes/Programs
U.S. Newborn
Adoption Choice Inc.
City
Green Bay
WI
Adoption Routes/Programs
U.S. Newborn, U.S. Foster, International
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City
Norwalk
CT
Adoption Routes/Programs
U.S. Newborn, International
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Evanston
IL
Adoption Routes/Programs
U.S. Newborn, International, Special Needs/Waiting Child
Agape Adoptions
City
Sumner
WA
Adoption Routes/Programs
International, Special Needs/Waiting Child

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