When my granddaughter asked me if I was the “real” mother of her mom, whom I adopted as an infant, I found a way to help her explore her many real connections, through biology, law, and love.
As a father who raised a child from birth and is now parenting older children adopted from foster care, I’ve come to see that the game and pieces may, indeed, be the same, but you have to play in an entirely different way.
Much like the trimesters of pregnancy, I moved through phases of worry, disbelief, and pure joy while I waited to adopt.
Like all mixed race families in America, we face stereotyping as a matter of course. These six lessions have helped enrich my family.
"You belong to two heritages-Jewish and Latin American-and at this special time in your life, when many Jewish families travel to the Mideast, we're heading south." More than a few heads turned when I announced this in my speech to my thirteen-year-old daughter, Amanda, on the occasion of her bat mitzvah.
As the parents of four black children, we drop a small fortune on lotion and products and build time into our schedule to style their hair, all the while questioning whether we know what we’re doing. A recent conversation offered some much-needed reassurance.
Matched out of the blue with an expectant mother, we were told the next call might come within days. But as the wait stretched to weeks and then months, I despaired—would our dreams ever come true?
We asked our reader panel: Have you ever been asked to explain your child's ethnic identity? How do you respond?
Having children was something that other people did. But giving birth has given me a sense of connection I never felt before.
When it came to locating our daughter's birth mother in Guatemala, we didn't know where to begin. But we knew that we had to try.
Many symbols commonly found on children’s clothing connote racist stereotypes of black people. Knowing this, should transracial adoptive parents still dress their black children in onesies and shirts featuring monkeys, zebras, and watermelons?
Have you ever been at a baby shower where they play a home video of the mother-to-be surprising her partner with news of her pregnancy? As we grappled with infertility, my wife and I hated those videos, even as we desperately hoped for one of our own.
One summer, we traded our Hawaiian home for Berkeley, CA so our son could learn about more ethnic differences and similarities.
As parents, we shape the memories our children will carry through their lives. What a delightful, and intimidating, prospect!
The family tree project can be a particularly tricky one for kids who are adopted. Here's how one family tackled the assignment.
Transracial adoptees often grow up knowing that their families love them, but not truly feeling included or close to them. Here’s what would have helped in raising a black child in a white family and a racist world.
I used to see adoption from only one viewpoint—that of the adoptive parents. But working in the field before becoming an adoptive mother opened my eyes to how complex and bittersweet adoption can be.
An accident left the author disabled, but not defeated. Having a physical disability doesn't have to prevent you from adopting.
After finally realizing my dream of becoming a mother, I found what most new parents find—along with the bliss come days filled with crying, spit-up, and leaking diapers. But when I dared to vent, I was chided: “You wanted to adopt…you asked for this!”
As I dove into research about in vitro fertilization, I kept waiting to be excited about this wondrous technology. But the excitement never came. When our talk turned to adoption, however, I felt the rebirth of hope.