“I recently found out that my teen is friends with his birth mother on Facebook. I feel badly that I found this out by ‘snooping,’ but I am also shocked and upset that she didn’t try to contact us or the adoption agency first. What should we do?”
Growing Up Adopted - Parenting Through Developmental Ages & Stages
As children grow, their behavior and understanding of adoption changes. Below, find parenting advice for different developmental ages and stages.
In their "black and white" world, how do children handle the grays of adoption?
How to survive an early fascination with the birds and the bees.
Avoid sit down lectures and look for teachable moments to get your teen to open up.
Single-parent homes are more common now, but kids still grapple with the daddy question.
As preteens strive to define themselves, they must work adoption into the story.
Part of how teens form identity is by finding ways they are alike and different from their family. They may want to search for their genetic relatives to figuring out who they are and how to emotionally put pieces in place.
Teens don't tend to talk with their friends about their feelings about being adopted, being teased, or other tough topics. But if you have a healthy, trusting relationship, they'll open up to you. An adoption therapist advises on maintaining an empathic connection with your teen.
The breakup of a family can be especially hard for adopted teens. Here's why.
As teen's desire more control over their lives, they want to be the decision-makers in determining contact with birth family.
Can't get your teen to talk? Rent a movie.
Help your teen adoptee overcome fear of leaving home with this advice.
Your teen will want to know more about his birth father—and his birth parents' relationship.
It's important to look for those natural, easy times when personal, tender issues can be touched upon.
Sometimes school brings tough situations, like teasing, tricky assignments, and nosy questions. When should kids handle things on their own, and when should a parent step in?
After finally realizing my dream of becoming a mother, I found what most new parents find—along with the bliss come days filled with crying, spit-up, and leaking diapers. But when I dared to vent, I was chided: “You wanted to adopt…you asked for this!”
Want to strengthen your teen's sense of belonging? Make family meals mandatory.
It can be easier for adopted teens to express anger than the emotions that are often behind it: vulnerability, weakness, or uncertainty. Help your adolescent deal with these complex feelings in more effective ways.
The Internet requires a cautious approach when teens are looking for answers about adoption.
As your teen heads toward adulthood, she'll strive to discover who she is.