Adoption Referrals & Expectant Mother Matches


Receiving an international adoption referral or matching with an expectant mother is an exciting step on your adoption process. Learn what to expect in a referral, and how to navigate the match period, in the expert articles and personal stories below.

Should Adoptive Parents Be Able to Choose Gender?

Share Your Story: Choosing a Gender

Share Your Story: Choosing a Gender

We asked our readers: should adopting parents be allowed to choose gender? This is what real parents shared about their decisions.

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Author Jessica Wagner with her family after her uncertain waits to adopt

“Waiting on a Dream”

Matched out of the blue with an expectant mother, we were told the next call might come within days. But as the wait stretched to weeks and then months, I despaired—would our dreams ever come true?

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the moment this dad learned about a surprise adoption match was caught on home video

“Caught on Camera: Our Surprise Adoption Match”

Have you ever been at a baby shower where they play a home video of the mother-to-be surprising her partner with news of her pregnancy? As we grappled with infertility, my wife and I hated those videos, even as we desperately hoped for one of our own.

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Adoption Travel Tips for When You (Finally!) Get Your The Call

Your Guide to Adoption Travel

The big day is finally here. Referral or hospital address in hand, you're ready to meet your child. But before you board that plane, learn from our experts (read: adoptive parents) how to make your adoption trip the journey of a lifetime.

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Expectant Mother: Rules for Your First Meeting

Your First Meeting with an Expectant Mother

For prospective adoptive parents hoping to meet an expectant mother, few situations are more anxiety-inducing than their first encounter. Whether you plan to meet in person or over the phone, knowing ahead of time what questions to ask-and not ask-can reduce your anxiety and help you make the most of this opportunity to obtain information.

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author Lakshmi Iyer with her family, including twins adopted as older infants in an open adoption

“How I Met My Daughters”

I may not remember when I first knew I wanted to be a mother, but the moments leading up to and the first time I saw my daughters are indelibly etched in my memory.

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author Brandy Stein with her twin daughters during an open adoption visit

“Letting Go After Months of Struggling to Parent”

After struggling to parent my twin daughters for ten months, I sadly realized I couldn’t provide them with the stable life I’d envisioned.

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A prospective adoptive mom reading adoption websites on her laptop computer

“Logging On for Love”

Many of us wonder if the Internet is the adoption wave of the future. Here's one family's story.

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Declining an adoption referral is a difficult choice for adoptive parents

“Our Agonizing Decision to Decline a Referral”

We thought accepting a referral would be the easy part. It wasn’t.

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A happy father after his birth mother match

“Guarding My Heart During the Wait”

After years of grappling with infertility, I could only focus on what might go wrong during our (in hindsight) perfect match and my daughter's birth.

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Adoption vs. pregnancy doesn't matter when it comes to forming a loving family.

“Lessons Learned from a Failed Adoption Match”

When friends asked, I'd always assured them I wasn't sad that I hadn't given birth to my sons. A heartbreaking false start helped me see that I was truly at peace with that fact.

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