“Our adoption profile was shown to an expectant mother, and she selected a different family. We knew this was a possibility, of course, but feel disappointed. How to cope?” Readers offer advice.
Surviving the Wait to Adopt
How to get through the long, emotional wait between completing your adoption paperwork and getting the call to bring your child home.
“The Advice I Wish I’d Gotten While Waiting to Adopt”
Most prospective adoptive parents don’t get cards or baby showers, or even much excitement. It’s time to change that. Buying something for your hoped-for baby won’t ‘jinx’ your plan to adopt, and 11 more things I wish someone had told me during the wait.
Ask AF: Feeling Depressed When Friends Announce They’re Pregnant
“Does anyone else feel jealous, weepy, depressed, and even a bit angry when friends or family members share the joyous news that they’re pregnant? I am truly thankful for my daughter, adopted five years ago, but at the same time, their news reminds me of how little control I have over growing our family.”
Ask AF: Responding to Insensitive and Discouraging Comments During the Wait
“I’m so excited to be moving forward in the adoption process, but, when I share that news, I’ve been surprised and frankly dismayed at some of the reactions I’ve gotten. These range from dismissive to fearful and discouraging.”
Ask AF: Because Baby Showers Are Bad Enough Without Nosy Questions…
When you struggle with infertility, baby showers can be painful reminders — and often lead to nosy questions, like, ‘So, when are you going to have a baby?’ Parents who’ve been there advise on how to respond.
“A Child’s Garden”
First I looked through the pages of Adoptive Families with a sense of duty. Then, the hope I felt looking at the made me realize, “I want to adopt a child.”
Adoption Day Gifts From Russia, with Love
The mementos we gathered during our long adoption stay have meant a great deal to our daughter as she grows up.
How Do You Respond to “How Long Did It Take You to Adopt?”
We asked our readers: How do you respond when someone asks you how long it takes to adopt? Read the answers from adoptive parents.
“Waiting on a Dream”
Matched out of the blue with an expectant mother, we were told the next call might come within days. But as the wait stretched to weeks and then months, I despaired—would our dreams ever come true?
As parents, we shape the memories our children will carry through their lives. What a delightful, and intimidating, prospect!
“When the Heart Won’t Wait”
Desperate to be with her newborn son, one mother packs up her family and heads to Guatemala to foster him.
“The Fine Print”
When the mundane tasks required for our dossier get complicated, each one we complete feels like a mini-victory—and reminds me of how much I want to be a dad.
“Which Baby Gift Registry is Best?”
Readers share their registry experiences—and tell us which companies have adoption-friendly options.
Parent-to-Parent: My Best Advice to Myself
Adoptive parents share the best adoption advice they would give themselves if they could go back five years, whether that would take them back to the adoption process or the early days of parenting.
Mother Knows Best?
Even though my husband couldn’t stay with me to foster our daughter in Guatemala, I was never short on parenting help.
Getting in Shape for Your New Arrival
Babies are demanding little creatures whose needs for food and dry diapers and cuddling and comforting rarely occur only during the day. Here’s how adoptive parents can get ready.
Keeping Your Spirits Up During the Wait
From doing “lasts” as a couple to cleaning out closets and drawers to writing in a journal to their child-to-be, parents share how they remained positive during a long or uncertain wait to adopt.
One Partner Wants to Nest, the Other Wants to Wait
A hopeful adoptive mother who’s just started the adoption wait is ready to nest and get the baby’s room ready—but her husband wants to wait. Parents who have been there offer advice.
The author of this story anticipates sharing his life with a child after a long wait.
“A Sense of Belonging”
As I wait to adopt, having friends I identify with has made all the difference.