At a recent gathering, an acquaintance made a comment based on the astonishingly misguided and downright vulgar assumption that my child’s birth parents are unworthy or subpar. Here’s how I responded.
Maintaining Connections to Your Child's Pre-Adoption History
When an open adoption fades or isn’t possible, adoptive parents find other ways to maintain a connection to their child’s past.
“I know that my children’s birth siblings were abused by their birth parents, but my children don’t talk about trauma in their earlier lives. How should I talk with them about this?”
Three years after her adoption, we returned to our daughter's Russian orphanage to visit her caregivers and friends there.
Lois Melina offers personal reflections on making relationships between birth parents and adoptive families healthier—for the sake of our children, using the principles of The Four Agreements.
Years after reconnecting with her son, a birth mother explores her place in his life.
Two families, linked by a shared adoption experience, discover that they are bound by DNA, as well.
We asked our readers: What talent or trait do you see in your child that must be from his or her birth family? Read the answers from adoptive parents.
“We are adopting my sister-in-law’s teenage son after fostering him for five years. What can I say to her at family gatherings, to family who still don’t get that we’ll be his legal parents—and to my son, who hears all of this?”
The Internet requires a cautious approach when teens are looking for answers about adoption.
We carefully choose our children's names. But wait—our children will soon have their own ideas about who they are and what they should be called.
Questions from their peers get more complicated for our teens—and their peers' questions may reflect their own worries about adoption.
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
A mother of three seeks advice on adopting her child’s birth siblings. She worries that her child will feel hurt if they don’t, but also that they won’t have the energy or resources to parent more children.
From my own search for my roots through adopting older children from foster care, life has taught me to treasure my children’s biological connections while knowing that we don’t have to look alike to belong together.
Whether you see your child’s birth parents frequently or have never had contact, you can still imbue your adoption and your relationship with your child with openness.
If so, when and how did you decide to share it with your child? If not, how have you handled discussions about the birth family?
A mother who adopted older children asks what to say to her children’s birth grandparent when her children don’t ask for contact.
"We visit and communicate directly with their foster family. These efforts help our sons build and sustain important relationships. They have already experienced too much loss and grief in their young lives."
Parents share whether they have photos of their child’s birth family displayed in their homes—where, why or why not, and how they talk about them.
Somehow, I turned out to be both an adoptive mom and a member of a birth family.