I'm not sure why I never told my children. But when they asked, I knew it was time to end the secrecy for good.
Talking About Adoption with Children
Children who joined their families through adoption need to know how adoption works, to feel free to ask questions (and get honest answers), and to learn any details you know about their birth families. Find talking tips below.
When my granddaughter asked me if I was the “real” mother of her mom, whom I adopted as an infant, I found a way to help her explore her many real connections, through biology, law, and love.
As a father who raised a child from birth and is now parenting older children adopted from foster care, I’ve come to see that the game and pieces may, indeed, be the same, but you have to play in an entirely different way.
“We just found out that we won’t be able to adopt the child we’ve been fostering. How do we tell the child, and explain to our older daughter?”
Between the ages of six and eight, children begin to ask more sophisticated questions about adoption. Here are some ways to respond.
A seven-year-old adoptee from China shares her thoughts on an illustrated children's book about adoption.
In their "black and white" world, how do children handle the grays of adoption?
How to survive an early fascination with the birds and the bees.
Single-parent homes are more common now, but kids still grapple with the daddy question.
The family tree project can be a particularly tricky one for kids who are adopted. Here's how one family tackled the assignment.
As preteens strive to define themselves, they must work adoption into the story.
Teens don't tend to talk with their friends about their feelings about being adopted, being teased, or other tough topics. But if you have a healthy, trusting relationship, they'll open up to you. An adoption therapist advises on maintaining an empathic connection with your teen.
Can't get your teen to talk? Rent a movie.
Help your teen adoptee overcome fear of leaving home with this advice.
Your teen will want to know more about his birth father—and his birth parents' relationship.
It's important to look for those natural, easy times when personal, tender issues can be touched upon.
The Internet requires a cautious approach when teens are looking for answers about adoption.
As your teen heads toward adulthood, she'll strive to discover who she is.
“I just discovered that my daughter’s birth mother died. My daughter is a preteen and rarely asks about her birth parents. Should I tell her this now, or wait? And, if so, how do I bring it up?”
How can you help your child answer adoption questions with confidence—and handle any queries that come your way?