Tag Archives: Personal Stories

The Grammar of Untold Stories: An Interview with Lois Melina

The Grammar of Untold Stories: An Interview with Lois Melina

Lois Melina has been a voice of wisdom and authority in the world of adoption for decades. We connected with Melina upon the publication of her latest book, The Grammar of Untold Stories,a collection of personal essays, to discuss immigration and international adoption, transracial adoption and the Black Lives Matter movement, and the many ways adoption and infertility continue to surface in her writing.

Author Gary Matloff's two sons, adopted from Brazil as older children, home together for Thanksgiving

“…and so It Goes”

My older son is off at college, and I’ve been heartened to see that his “new normal” includes a maturing and strengthening of the bond between us. I look back to the day I met him, just over eight years ago, and our years of attachment struggles, even as I look to his future, and ours, with hope.

author Nicci Rosted with her husband and newborn daughter through domestic adoption

“The Advice I Wish I’d Gotten While Waiting to Adopt”

Most prospective adoptive parents don’t get cards or baby showers, or even much excitement. It’s time to change that. Buying something for your hoped-for baby won’t ‘jinx’ your plan to adopt, and 11 more things I wish someone had told me during the wait.

The Littlefield foster family – author Deirdre with her husband and two sons

“What Being a Foster Family Has Taught My Children”

Amazingly, the number one question we’re asked about being a foster family is: “Are you afraid of what they’ll teach your children?” So, what have my kids learned? To start—to be open, generous, non-judgmental, thankful for their warm home….

author Gary Matloff visiting his son, adopted as an older child, as a freshman at college

“…and Letting It Be” – My Son’s Transition to College

When I adopted my two sons eight years ago, they couldn’t separate themselves fast enough from their “old” life in Brazil. As I prepared to visit my oldest son two months into his “new” college life—a lifetime for any freshman—I wondered to what extent he might have compartmentalized his now “old” family life.

author Billy Cuchens with his transracially adopted teenage son

“Home Safe Every Night”

Isaac is 14 years old, but he’s six feet tall and almost two hundred pounds. He’s also black. He hasn’t been a discipline problem since the day he came home, but someone who doesn’t know him could see him as a threat. So what was I to do on a recent evening when he asked to bike home alone in the dark?

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