Author Archives: Billy Cuchens

"Committed to honoring our children’s African American race and culture, we buy lotion for every room in the house and spend a small fortune on hair products…"

“Keeping Up Appearances” – Our Skin and 4C Hair Care Routine

“Keeping Up Appearances” – Our Skin and 4C Hair Care Routine

As the parents of four black children, we drop a small fortune on lotion and products and build time into our schedule to style their hair, all the while questioning whether we know what we’re doing. A recent conversation offered some much-needed reassurance.

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the moment this dad learned about a surprise adoption match was caught on home video

“Caught on Camera: Our Surprise Adoption Match”

Have you ever been at a baby shower where they play a home video of the mother-to-be surprising her partner with news of her pregnancy? As we grappled with infertility, my wife and I hated those videos, even as we desperately hoped for one of our own.

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adoptive father Billy Cuchens, who tries to strike the right balance in talking about adoption with his children

“A Balanced View of Adoption”

With such a spectrum of opinions about adoption, it’s hard to know if we talk about it too much, or not enough, and in the right way. But watching my son navigate adoption comments at school reassured me of his comfort with it.

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nature-vs-nurture-sons-personality-glass-filled-with-hearts-straw

“Thankfully, My Son’s Personality Didn’t Come from Me”

When people have kids, they are often hoping their child will be just like them. In our case, we're happy our son has beautiful characteristics that are all his own.

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Ethnic pride is important in the diverse Cuchens family.

“Joining an African-American Church”

My wife and I were nervous the first Sunday we attended an African-American church. Would they welcome us? Would they stare? We should have had faith.

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A happy father after his birth mother match

“Guarding My Heart During the Wait”

After years of grappling with infertility, I could only focus on what might go wrong during our (in hindsight) perfect match and my daughter's birth.

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Our changing relationship with birth mother.

“Pulling Back in Open Adoption”

After a bump in the relationship with our daughter's birth mother, we're learning lessons about love, patience, and acceptance.

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A happy and healthy multiracial family

“Did You Try to Have Your Own Kids?”

My wife was deluged with questions at a new moms' group, each one more personal than the last.

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