After adopting my children from foster care, we eased into contact with their birth mother. She and I—a conservative, suburban mom—couldn’t be more different, and I’m glad that’s the case. The kids have a special relationship with her that they can’t have with me.
Living in Open Adoption
How to maintain contact with your adopted child’s birth family in open adoption, from letters and texting to phone calls and in-person visits.
“My cousin is pregnant but not ready to be a mom. She and I have discussed my adopting her baby. I realize we’ll need a lawyer, but what else will we need to do in order to adopt a family member’s child?”
“Our son’s birth mother is now married and parenting a newborn. How should I answer if he asks why they couldn’t raise him?”
Three adolescents share their experiences with open adoption, and how they feel about their relationships with their birth family.
An expectant mother who’s making an open adoption plan wonders how to explain to her child that his baby sibling will be adopted by another family. A birth mother offers advice.
We asked our readers: If you'll be giving your child's birth parents a gift this holiday season, what is it and how will you give it to them? Read the answers from adoptive parents.
“In the beginning, my son’s birth mother seemed to want a lot of contact. I send photos or updates about once a week. She hasn’t seen him in a year, however, and her family hasn’t seen him since birth. Should I back off?”
Real-life advice from the Adoptive Families community on understanding openness, navigating visits and contact, explaining birth siblings, and more.
Having children was something that other people did. But giving birth has given me a sense of connection I never felt before.
“I recently found out that my teen is friends with his birth mother on Facebook. I feel badly that I found this out by ‘snooping,’ but I am also shocked and upset that she didn’t try to contact us or the adoption agency first. What should we do?”
I used to see adoption from only one viewpoint—that of the adoptive parents. But working in the field before becoming an adoptive mother opened my eyes to how complex and bittersweet adoption can be.
As teen's desire more control over their lives, they want to be the decision-makers in determining contact with birth family.
A mother is nervous about the upcoming first birth family visit, wondering what it will be like, how to react if she or the birth mother get upset. Parents in open adoptions offer advice.
I may not remember when I first knew I wanted to be a mother, but the moments leading up to and the first time I saw my daughters are indelibly etched in my memory.
After struggling to parent my twin daughters for ten months, I sadly realized I couldn’t provide them with the stable life I’d envisioned.
Parents in open adoptions share whether they have a post-adoption contact agreement with their child's birth parents and, if so, what it includes.
10 ways to show respect and build trust.
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
In many families, relationships come without exact names. While adoption highlighted this truth, it was already a given in my family—and maybe in yours, too?
What if my daughter doesn't choose me? What if she grows up and moves to live near her other mom—her birth mom? I think about that and I get scared. Then I think, so what if she does? I can’t worry about that; I can only parent now.