“I recently found out that my teen is friends with his birth mother on Facebook. I feel badly that I found this out by ‘snooping,’ but I am also shocked and upset that she didn’t try to contact us or the adoption agency first. What should we do?”
An adoptive parent wonders how to respond to an only child who keeps asking for a sibling. Real parents share their advice and stories.
“We are adopting my sister-in-law’s teenage son after fostering him for five years. What can I say to her at family gatherings, to family who still don’t get that we’ll be his legal parents—and to my son, who hears all of this?”
“My husband and I are working to adopt from foster care. How do we transition a child from calling us our first names to calling us ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’?”
“I just discovered that my daughter’s birth mother died. My daughter is a preteen and rarely asks about her birth parents. Should I tell her this now, or wait? And, if so, how do I bring it up?”
“My husband was advised that some adoptive parents ‘hide’ the adoption process and feign pregnancy on social media for friends and extended family. Has anyone done this?”
The mother of a preschooler shares her concern about negative comments her daughter has been making about her skin color. Parents who have been there offer advice.
“After years of seeming OK about being adopted, my teenage daughter has become sad and angry about it recently. How can I help her deal with her new emotions?”
“I need help dealing with unsupportive relatives who seem to think ‘adoption’ is a dirty word. How can I talk with them about adoption?”
A hopeful adoptive mother who’s just started the adoption wait is ready to nest and get the baby’s room ready—but her husband wants to wait. Parents who have been there offer advice.
An older mom who’s enjoyed the relative freedom of parenting teens is nervous about readjusting to more hands-on parenting when she adopts a young child. Parents who have been there offer advice.
“We adopted our 10-year-old daughter as an infant, and adopted her seven- and eight-year-old biological sisters last month. How can we help all three girls bond with each other?”
A mother of three seeks advice on adopting her child’s birth siblings. She worries that her child will feel hurt if they don’t, but also that they won’t have the energy or resources to parent more children.
“I adopted my grandson through a kinship adoption. He’s now six and has recently begun calling me ‘Mommy’ and saying he was in my tummy. Is this OK, or do I need to reiterate that I’m his grandmother?”
“My daughter, who was adopted internationally, has been saying she wishes she got to see her birth mother, like her close friend who has a very open adoption. What can I say to her?”
A parent solicits opinions about a day care that encourages the children to call the employees “Auntie” and the other children “brothers and sisters.”
A parent in an open adoption asks what do do (and how to explain to her son) when his birth family uses different discipline approaches for his birth sibling. Adoption expert Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, offers advice.
Hepatitis B is a contagious virus that can be passed from a mother to a baby at or around the time of birth. It can also be passed from one child to another in an orphanage, through blood or body fluids.
A mother who adopted older children asks what to say to her children’s birth grandparent when her children don’t ask for contact.
A parent reaches out for help after taunting at school left her daughter feeling shaken to the core and that she doesn’t belong anywhere. An adult adoptee and transracial adoption expert offers advice.