A prospective adoptive parent shares her feelings of sadness as the holidays approach while waiting to adopt. Parents who have been there offer advice.
Surviving the Wait to Adopt
How to get through the long, emotional wait between completing your adoption paperwork and getting the call to bring your child home.
“It’s been almost five months and my husband and I are still in labor. The pregnancy was even longer—twelve months. When will this baby come, we ask ourselves.”
Parents share their experiences of celebrating the holidays while still waiting for their adoptions to be finalized.
Waiting to adopt is hard, especially when the wait stretches on for years. Real parents share the words that comforted them and got them through their waits.
“We’re just beginning the adoption process, and are waffling between excitement—and terror. Is this normal?”
A list of lists to help you through the adoption process and wait.
I bought that stuffed animal — and that book, and that baby hat — in a moment of weakness. But as the wait stretched on, I realized those slip-ups are what kept me going.
Are all the bewildering ups and downs I’ve experienced during our wait typical of the international adoption process?
During the long wait for an adoption match, friends and family may be sympathetic, but they don’t understand the anxiety that leads you to question every aspect of your adoption profile — and yourself.
In hindsight, these veteran adoptive moms would have done some things differently during the wait — but not others.
After years of grappling with infertility, I could only focus on what might go wrong during our (in hindsight) perfect match and my daughter’s birth.
When I announced our adoption plans, I hoped for the same kind of excitement that pregnant women get. After all, the happiness we’re expecting is the same.
Adoptive parents look back on the adoption process and share the hardest moments, from having to change routes to becoming parents overnight to seeing the birth mother say goodbye.
The very best way to occupy your time while you wait for your child is to learn everything you can about raising adopted children, and to prepare for any eventuality.
Our adoptive families recommend that you share your plans in stages. While adoptions take, on average, one year from the date your home study is accepted, you won’t be in control of the timing. And if yours drags on, the last thing you want is daily phone calls asking, “So … any news?”
Although I did not endure physical childbirth, I know every emotion that pours in when motherhood begins.
I finally realized that this was “The Call” when my social worker said, “Do you remember when you said this would be the worst week for you to get picked by an expectant mother?”
This was to have been my first summer as a mom. Instead, we’re waiting for the clearing of one final hurdle.
When our first adoption match fell through, we were devastated.
Answers to your parenting questions.