A few years after marrying the man of my dreams, I was surprised to once again feel like an insecure single woman, willing the phone to ring.
Surviving the Wait to Adopt
How to get through the long, emotional wait between completing your adoption paperwork and getting the call to bring your child home.
In the photos our agency sent, I saw a serious little boy growing up without a mother. Halfway around the world, I waited and longed for the day when I could fill that role.
When you’re waiting to adopt, you count each day that passes. But how should I count my daughter-to-be, who is already a part of me?
So far, each step I have taken into my future daughter’s world has taught me nearly as much about myself as it has about her culture.
My Bunko buddies were the ones who were there for me when I suddenly got “the call.”
My wife and I learned a lot from reading, but there were some things not discussed in the books we read. So from one father to another, from one parent to another, here’s my notebook of thoughts after our adoption.
Our “adoption journey” was not an easy one. No, our road was bumpy and dark and full of unmarked turns that were gently referred to by our social workers as failed matches or changes of heart. With every disappointment we endured, I struggled with what I call the both/and—holding two conflicting feelings at once.
Waiting can be brutal, but there are some benefits. Take it from someone who endured 30 months before she got to hold her son.
A white rocking chair helped us through many sleepless nights during the wait, and through many happy memories after we brought our son home.
How parents-to-be can survive failed expectant mother matches, changes to country programs, foster placements that do not lead to adoption, and other potential heartaches along the way.
Open communication can help create positive relationships with family and friends.
How do you respond to family members who say they don’t understand why you’re adopting? Members of AdoptiveFamiliesCircle share their advice.
While I was waiting to be matched, I tried to step out of the shoes of “adoptive mom” and into the shoes of “birth mom.”
During the process to adopt from the foster system, we faced a series of delays. But, at the end, we found a love that was worth the wait.
How did I fill my time during the wait? By filling a bookcase for our child-to-be.
After my dream of a family through adoption had been planted, it grew in the warm soil of my backyard.
Answers to your parenting questions.
Without sonograms, morning sickness, and kicking, you have to find the joy in your own “moments” as you wait to adopt.
I wasn’t going to just wait around during the wait. Instead, I filled the time with networking, decorating the baby’s nursery, and more.
A father-to-be offers tips for keeping the dream of a child alive after the crushing disappointment of a failed match with an expectant mother.