Lois Melina has been a voice of wisdom and authority in the world of adoption for decades. We connected with Melina upon the publication of her latest book, The Grammar of Untold Stories,a collection of personal essays, to discuss immigration and international adoption, transracial adoption and the Black Lives Matter movement, and the many ways adoption and infertility continue to surface in her writing.
Lois Melina offers personal reflections on making relationships between birth parents and adoptive families healthier—for the sake of our children, using the principles of The Four Agreements.
By tuning in to what children understand about adoption at different ages, our talks become richer, more intimate, and ultimately more effective.
"Good-hearted, ethical people find themselves turning a blind eye to red flags, not because they are desperate for a baby, but because they know they will provide a good home to a child who needs one."
An open adoption arrangement may be buffeted by passing time and changing circumstances. Here's how to make your relationship endure.
After years of disappointment, adopting couples have a hard time believing that parenthood is just around the corner. But now is the time to get ready.
If you look like your child, you may be spared inquisitive glances or nosy questions about adoption from strangers. But that doesn't mean you don't have to discuss the topic.
If we're white, we experience many benefits of unearned status because we're "the norm." But adoptive families are not considered the norm. Now what?
The way you respond to questions like, “What is adoption?” can influence how a person understands adoptive families–and explains them to others. Use these ideas to correct misinformation and set a positive tone.
Sure, they bicker, they fight, they tease each other mercilessly. But they’re also creating vital relationships that will last a lifetime.
My husband and I have a friendly relationship with the birth mother of our 3-year-old daughter. We talk on the phone, exchange letters regularly, and visit a few times a year.
Over the years, an open adoption arrangement may need to evolve to accommodate the changing needs of everyone involved — above all, the child.
Let what your child can understand about adoption guide what you tell him about his story.
When you connect with your child's learning style, you help him feel more at home.
Choosing age, race, and even gender is sometimes seen as the perk of adoption. Be careful not to attach expectations to these selections.
Many experts say that out of birth order adoption is a bad idea. Yet, there are many ways to make it work for your family.
In this classic parenting manual, Melina holds parents hands every step of the way, from announcing your adoption and choosing a pediatrician to surviving the challenges of adolescence.
Raising adoption awareness at school can protect your child from thoughtless remarks and benefit classmates, teachers, and the school community. Just be sure to tread lightly and respect boundaries, especially your child’s.
Parents always celebrate when a new child joins their family. But adoptive moms and dads might want to mark their blessed event with a meaningful ceremony beyond the usual festivities.
Holiday celebrations are supposed to be joyous, but they can be a minefield of mixed emotions.