Tag Archives: Preteens

Adoption Experts answer your questions.

Ask AF: Letting a Preteen Take the Lead in a Birth Parent Relationship

Ask AF: Letting a Preteen Take the Lead in a Birth Parent Relationship

"At what age should we start letting our daughter take the lead in birth parent contact? I know that my daughter will be able to call her birth mom freely when she gets her own cellphone, so how do we step back responsibly?"

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Author Shelly Roy with her adult son, 19 years after adoption

“On Parenting from Afar”

Once, I grieved the loss of a biological child. Nineteen years later, as I watch my son leap and soar (literally) into adulthood, I am at peace with my role of nurturing the many gifts built into his nature.

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the author's preteen children pictured with their birth mother during a visit

“Meeting Jennifer” – Opening a Foster Adoption

After adopting my children from foster care, we eased into contact with their birth mother. She and I—a conservative, suburban mom—couldn’t be more different, and I’m glad that’s the case. The kids have a special relationship with her that they can’t have with me.

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An adoptive mother hugs her preteen daughter after a good talk about adoption

What Do Preteens Think About Adoption?

Before the moody teen years, pre-adolescence can present its own challenges for parents. How should you respond to tweens’ questions about adoption or initiate conversation with a preteen who doesn’t seem eager to talk?

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A preteen looks in the mirror as she wrestles with identity struggles

Helping Preteens Build a Life Story

As preteens strive to define themselves, they must work adoption into the story.

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How children view adoption changes as they grow

Adoption Through a Child’s Eyes

By tuning in to what children understand about adoption at different ages, our talks become richer, more intimate, and ultimately more effective.

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Teenagers developing empathy by volunteering together

Building Your Child’s Sense of Self-Worth

Families that expand their worlds to incorporate all kinds of cultures help their children develop strong racial identities.

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How over functioning parents can step back and let kids do homework themselves.

When It Comes to Homework—Are You Doing Too Much?

Battles over homework can disrupt family life any evening of the school week. To lessen the trauma, parents frequently step in to help and occasionally step over the line. We asked Anita Pollic, a fourth grade teacher at Lebanon Christian School in Lebanon, Ohio, about this important topic.

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Bonding Over the Family Photo Album

Finding Belonging in Pictures

After adopting older children, these parents found that maintaining a family photo album was a useful tool to encourage bonding.

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Family Activities

Family Activities (That Don’t Involve Screens)

It can be a challenge to tear tweens away from their screens for some good old fashioned family bonding—until you try one of these activities!

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Tips for talking to tweens about adoption.

A Growing Awareness

Between the ages of nine and 12, children register the meaning of adoption–and this can bring harder questions and more complex emotions. AF takes a look at what's going on in the minds of preteens, and offers advice for talking with them.

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Feelings about adoption can leave kids lonely

Wanting to Be Like Everyone Else

Your preteen just wants to be cool. But how can he, when he's "different"?

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Preteens can have self-confidence issues around their adoption

When Kids Deny Their Adoption

It's not uncommon for preteens to pretend they weren't adopted, in an effort to not be different.

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A young woman, thinking after reading Red Thread Sisters

[Book Review] Red Thread Sisters

A brief review of Red Thread Sisters, an engaging novel your middle-schooler will enjoy.

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