Tag Archives: Bonding

A Mother's Day Card reminds a mom of the dichotomy of adoptive motherhood and her children's birth mother

“Motherhood, Cleaved.”

“Motherhood, Cleaved.”

My love for my youngest child, who was born to me, takes a different timbre from my love for my twins through adoption. Accepting this helps me understand the inimitable bond they share with their birth mother, and the ache she must feel.

An adoptive mom cuddles with her newly adopted baby to promote bonding

Parents Share: “My Best Bonding Advice”

Adoptive moms and dads share their best advice for bonding with a newly adopted child, from taking time off to never leaving a child to cry it out at night.

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an adoptive mother listens to and learns from her child

Lessons I’ve Learned from My Children

Over decades as a foster and adoptive parent and an adoption social worker, I have mothered and supported hundreds of children. Each one has taught me more than I passed along to them. Here is just some of that wisdom.

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author Billy Cuchens and his son Jayden snuggle together at home

“My Snuggle Boy”

When we adopted our son as a toddler, he rarely displayed emotion and wouldn't show us any affection. How far my big, cuddly 10-year-old has come!

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Adoption Experts answer your questions.

Ask AF: When a Child Questions Adoption vs. Biology

“Recently, my 12-year-old has been questioning whether an adoptive mother can really love her children as she would biological children. She’ll say things like, ‘You think you love us, but you would love a child you gave birth to more. How should I talk with her about this?”

plant growing hearts, as parents grow new hearts to bond with each new child

“What If?”

What if I don’t love this child the same as I love the others? This question is probably every pre-adoptive parent’s most secret worry. Here are the words that reassured me.

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photo shared by an adoptive mom, capturing her first skin-to-skin with her new baby

Parent-to-Parent: My Favorite Adoption Memory

Adoptive parents and adoptees share their favorite adoption memories from the past year, including first Mother's Days, finalizing adoptions, and gaining access to open records.

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An adoptive mom shares her thoughts about being told "There's still hope" for her to get pregnant

“Adoption Is Not Second Best”

Near-strangers feel compelled to tell me about friends who got pregnant after adopting and say, “There’s still hope….” But I don’t hope for a biological child; I hope for a healthy relationship with my two kids.

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Browsing baby stores helps my adopted teen and I bond and talk about the years we missed out on as mother and daughter

“Bonding with My Teen in the Baby Department”

My daughter came to me at nine years old, so neither of us knows what she looked like as a baby, but walking these aisles is a way for us to recreate what we both lost.

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baby massage

Bonding with Baby

"We found that using massage techniques helped our child relax and eased the transition from an orphanage setting to that of a loving family."

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helping adopted children adjust

“The Dog Who Came to Stay”

"Moments after bringing our new puppy home, I understood that raising this dog would begin to create a history for our new daughter, would lodge her firmly within our family. A family pet conjures notions of family ties, of belonging."

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Interview with Deborah D. Gray about bonding and attachment.

Deborah Gray on Attachment

Adoptive Families sat down for a Q&A with attachment guru Deborah Gray. When will a parent know a bond is in place? How can working parents solidify their connection with a newly adopted child? We asked these questions and more.

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Toddler adoption can be tricky

“Will I Ever Be Able to Love This Child?”

When the first few weeks of parenthood were rocky, I found myself worrying: Did we adopt a child I'll never be able to love?

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