“I recently found out that my teen is friends with his birth mother on Facebook. I feel badly that I found this out by ‘snooping,’ but I am also shocked and upset that she didn’t try to contact us or the adoption agency first. What should we do?”
I used to see adoption from only one viewpoint—that of the adoptive parents. But working in the field before becoming an adoptive mother opened my eyes to how complex and bittersweet adoption can be.
A mother is nervous about the upcoming first birth family visit, wondering what it will be like, how to react if she or the birth mother get upset. Parents in open adoptions offer advice.
There's this poem I'm supposed to love. I first read it when we adopted our oldest son: Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone/But still miraculously my own./Never forget, for a single minute,/You didn't grow under my heart, but in it.
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
In many families, relationships come without exact names. While adoption highlighted this truth, it was already a given in my family—and maybe in yours, too?
What if my daughter doesn't choose me? What if she grows up and moves to live near her other mom—her birth mom? I think about that and I get scared. Then I think, so what if she does? I can’t worry about that; I can only parent now.
From my own search for my roots through adopting older children from foster care, life has taught me to treasure my children’s biological connections while knowing that we don’t have to look alike to belong together.
A parent in an open adoption asks what do do (and how to explain to her son) when his birth family uses different discipline approaches for his birth sibling. Adoption expert Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, offers advice.
Whether you see your child’s birth parents frequently or have never had contact, you can still imbue your adoption and your relationship with your child with openness.
When Elizabeth was young, closed adoption was comfortable. But my outlook changed the day my teenage daughter said, "I want to find them."
A mother who adopted older children asks what to say to her children’s birth grandparent when her children don’t ask for contact.
A new study by The Donaldson Adoption Institute found that LGBT families are highly motivated to maintain openness and birth family contact.
Parents share whether they have photos of their child’s birth family displayed in their homes—where, why or why not, and how they talk about them.
In an open adoption, your child's birth parents become part of your extended family. Here are some common questions when it comes to managing those relationships.
Experts offer talking tips and sample language for discussing neglect, abuse, abandonment, and other painful parts of your child's adoption story.
Would it really be possible to fill out my daughter's hazy memories by typing names into a search engine?
An open adoption arrangement may be buffeted by passing time and changing circumstances. Here's how to make your relationship endure.
I asked my family not to come to the hospital when she was born, then mourned their absence. Enter her birth relatives.
Adopting a baby in the United States has changed dramatically in the last 30 years. When will popular perceptions catch up with the new, healthier reality? Here, an adoptive mother dispels common myths about adopting a newborn.