As she anticipates the release of her documentary Hayden & Her Family, the filmmaker reconnects with the mother of 12 she profiled to discuss special needs adoption, parenting outside “normal” boundaries, and how loving a child changes you.
“On Parenting from Afar”
Once, I grieved the loss of a biological child. Nineteen years later, as I watch my son leap and soar (literally) into adulthood, I am at peace with my role of nurturing the many gifts built into his nature.
Ask AF: What to Do the First Time a Foster Child Comes to Stay with Us?
“We are preparing for our first overnight visit with sisters we hope to adopt from foster care, and are nervous. What are we supposed to do for 24 hours with two children who are essentially strangers?”
Ask AF: How to Discourage Indiscriminate Affection
A mother who adopted from foster care seeks advice about discouraging her children from charming or hugging strangers— and how to respond to the adults who think the child is just ‘being sweet.’
Media Focus: Lissa Schneckenburger
Lissa Schneckenburger’s new album, Thunder in My Arms, takes foster and adoptive parents on a melodic song cycle about the ongoing effects of early trauma and the healing power of community, understanding, and love. Tune in to learn more.
“…and so It Goes”
My older son is off at college, and I’ve been heartened to see that his “new normal” includes a maturing and strengthening of the bond between us. I look back to the day I met him, just over eight years ago, and our years of attachment struggles, even as I look to his future, and ours, with hope.
Ask AF: Reconciling Different Personalities in Adoption
A mother finds herself exhausted trying to keep up with the boisterous, outgoing older child she’s adopting, and also worries that the girl might start feeling “different” from the rest of the family (who are all naturally more reserved and quiet). An expert offers advice.
“The Fine Line Between Letting Go and Being Let Go”
I adopted my son as he was entering his teen years, and now, too soon, I have seen him off to college. How will his still tenuous attachment play out when I’m no longer a constant, physical presence in his life?
“Band-Aid Mom”
Can a Band-Aid do more than heal a physical wound? For my daughter, adopted from Ethiopia at age 9, a mother’s therapeutic touch — to real and emotional boo-boos — began a deeper healing process.
Interview with Melissa Fay Greene
The adoptive mom and critically acclaimed author talks about her adoption of two brothers from Ethiopia, the AIDS crisis in Africa, and Haregewoin Teferra, the foster mother at the center of her book, There Is No Me Without You: One Woman’s Odyssey to Rescue Her Country’s Children.
Parents Share: “My Best Bonding Advice”
Adoptive moms and dads share their best advice for bonding with a newly adopted child, from taking time off to never leaving a child to cry it out at night.
“First Words”
We may not have heard our children’s very first words, but we’ve heard many others in our journey through infertility and foster adoption—and now, as family.
Lessons I’ve Learned from My Children
Over decades as a foster and adoptive parent and an adoption social worker, I have mothered and supported hundreds of children. Each one has taught me more than I passed along to them. Here is just some of that wisdom.
Creating a Photographic History for an Older Child
Pictures help show our children that their lives matter, and that they are part of a family. A photographer and adoptive mom offers her advice for taking and preserving meaningful moments.
“One of the Missing Pieces”
When older children argue and act out, it’s often connected to events from their past. How could any child move through 14 foster placements unscathed? But last night, another clash, followed by a heart-to-heart, brought us one piece closer to feeling like a solid family.
Adoption Shower for Toddlers or Older Children
Planning an adoption shower for an internationally or domestically adopted toddler or older child? Here’s what to ask for.
Ask AF: Your Older Child’s First Day Home with You
A parent-to-be who’s adopting a four-year-old from foster care solicits advice about what to do that first day home and how to make it easier on the child.
“Parenting After Foster Adoption—Like Playing Jenga, Backward”
As a father who raised a child from birth and is now parenting older children adopted from foster care, I’ve come to see that the game and pieces may, indeed, be the same, but you have to play in an entirely different way.
Ask AF: Transitioning Children to Calling Us “Mom” and “Dad”
“My husband and I are working to adopt from foster care. How do we transition a child from calling us our first names to calling us ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’?”
“Letting the 13-Year-Old Drive”
How do you empower a child entering his teen years in a state of defeat, powerlessness, and utter self-disregard? You give him a key and tell him to take off!