After adopting my children from foster care, we eased into contact with their birth mother. She and I—a conservative, suburban mom—couldn’t be more different, and I’m glad that’s the case. The kids have a special relationship with her that they can’t have with me.
Lois Melina offers personal reflections on making relationships between birth parents and adoptive families healthier—for the sake of our children, using the principles of The Four Agreements.
“Our son’s birth mother is now married and parenting a newborn. How should I answer if he asks why they couldn’t raise him?”
An expectant mother who’s making an open adoption plan wonders how to explain to her child that his baby sibling will be adopted by another family. A birth mother offers advice.
“In the beginning, my son’s birth mother seemed to want a lot of contact. I send photos or updates about once a week. She hasn’t seen him in a year, however, and her family hasn’t seen him since birth. Should I back off?”
Real-life advice from the Adoptive Families community on understanding openness, navigating visits and contact, explaining birth siblings, and more.
As teen's desire more control over their lives, they want to be the decision-makers in determining contact with birth family.
A mother is nervous about the upcoming first birth family visit, wondering what it will be like, how to react if she or the birth mother get upset. Parents in open adoptions offer advice.
Parents in open adoptions share whether they have a post-adoption contact agreement with their child's birth parents and, if so, what it includes.
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
A study, the Early Growth and Development Study, is shedding light on open adoption attitudes and outcomes. Here are some basic findings, as well as AF poll results on families' open adoption experiences.
Though society doesn’t know what to do with birth mothers, I knew I had a place with my son’s parents. At his second birthday party, I learned that I had a place with their family, too.
Whether you see your child’s birth parents frequently or have never had contact, you can still imbue your adoption and your relationship with your child with openness.
If so, when and how did you decide to share it with your child? If not, how have you handled discussions about the birth family?
A new study by The Donaldson Adoption Institute found that LGBT families are highly motivated to maintain openness and birth family contact.
It's normal to think about your child's birth family during the holidays. What should you share in a holiday letter?
Sometimes I read the warm, loving letters my birth daughter's parents send and feel almost incapable of responding. But I always do.
Families with different levels of contact offer glimpses into their relationships with birth parents during their first year home.
Writing about the little things in letters to our daughter's birth parents often tells a bigger, warmer story in the end.
We’ve been selected by a birth mom who is due in two months. Our attorney advised us to draw up a contact agreement prior to the birth. What should we include?