Parents Share: The "Match Meeting" with an Expectant Mother

"Be yourself" and more real-life advice for the "match meeting" with an expectant mother.

An expectant mother and prospective adoptive mother meet and talk for the first time

On our Facebook page (, we asked readers: What advice can you give to a prospective adoptive parent who is nervous about an upcoming “match meeting” with an expectant mother? Here’s what you said:

Be yourself. Don’t try to be something you’re not. You never know what someone will connect with. Also, be honest. If you’re not truly comfortable with a certain level of openness or something else, don’t fake it.” —SARAH

Be yourself. Be real. Be caring—about HER and her baby. Remember that the biggest tragedy would not be that she doesn’t choose you to parent her baby, but if she regretted her adoption decision every day (and someday your kid hears that story). It’s the biggest life decision she’ll likely ever make. Support her, whether or not she chooses you to parent her child.” —BARB

She wants you to like her as much as you want her to like you. She is just as nervous (if not more so). Take a deep breath and be yourself .” —LORI

Listen to what she has to say. People want you to hear their story. Don’t try to impress her with yours.” —CAITIFER

It’s nerve-wracking. I think it’s important to be respectful of her title—until she chooses an adoptive family and follows through with the plan, she is an expectant mother, not a birth mother. Be yourself and ask questions about her. What are her hobbies? What music does she listen to? It’s an awkward conversation for everyone, but it’s really a ‘get to know you.’ You got this!” —LEXIE

I would be sure not to focus on the things you will give the child, but on how well you will love the child. Stuff doesn’t matter, but love is essential.” —MARION

Be yourself. Listen. And don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.” —ANGELLE




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