Parent-to-Parent: Contact with Birth Siblings

Adoptive Families readers share how their families keep in touch with birth siblings.

contact with birth siblings

On our Facebook page (, we asked readers, Does your child have biological siblings? Do they live with their birth parents or with another adoptive family? How do you stay in touch? Here’s what you said:

“My son’s two sisters live 45 minutes away. The other adoptive mother and I e-mail each other and we get together about once a month.” —JILL

“Our seven-year-old son has four older biological brothers who were all adopted together. They live a couple of hours away and we get together a few times a year. Their relationship at this point is like cousins. The more family to love, the better.” —GINA

“We adopted our daughter at age 15, so she knows her half and full siblings. She chooses to keep in touch with her only full sibling, but refuses to have anything to do with her adult half sister. She loves her younger half siblings—but, sadly, their birth mom will not allow them to have any contact with her.” —TJ

“Our daughter’s brother lives with their biological grandparents. We get together with them several times a year so the kids can play. It’s important to us that she maintains contact with her biological family.” —KIM

“We know that our daughter is the second youngest of six siblings, but we don’t have any information on the older siblings. They are all in foster care.” —KRISTA

“Our best friends adopted our son’s brother. It has been wonderful to see how their relationship has progressed from when they were in care. There is a younger half brother whom we’ve all met, but we don’t really keep in touch.” —JULIE

“Yes! Our child has two biological sisters who live with their birth parents and a little biological brother who was adopted by another family. We’ve spent quality time getting to know all of them. We feel tremendously lucky that he has these connections.” —DEB

“My eight-year-old son has a full biological sister who was adopted by another family that lives about 30 miles from us. We have had ongoing contact from the beginning, including celebrating birthdays and holidays together. They are both aware of their relationship and refer to each other as ‘brother’/’sister.’ He also has three half siblings out there whom he is aware of, but we have not had direct contact with them.

“My two-year-old has a baby brother who is with another family in foster care. I am friends with the foster family and we have contact several times a week.” —TRACY

“We’re torn between having a relationship with our child’s biological mom and two much older brothers (adopted by grandparents) or a relationship with four siblings (adopted by a family who wants no contact with their birth mom). Wish it weren’t so messy….” —TRACEY

“Our boys have four half siblings who live 10 hours away. Three came home at about the same time as our boys and the fourth about two years later. The children were all adopted internationally, so it’s really amazing that they all ended up in the States. We are in contact with the other family via e-mail, Skype, Facebook, and annual visits.” —KATRINA

“My daughter has three biological siblings. We see them once or twice a year. We know everything about them and they know about us. I can call my daughter’s birth mother with any questions. It has been a blessing.” —ANDREA

“Our daughter has a full biological brother who was adopted by their grandparents. She actually found him on Facebook a few years ago, and we later traveled to meet them. It was awesome. They look so much alike, but they are so different!” —JULIE

“Two months after we adopted siblings, their little brother was born. We already had four children, so we couldn’t adopt him, but we are in regular contact with the family that did—we meet up at least five times a year. The kids are now four, five, and six years old and they call each other ‘brother’ and ‘sister.’ They obviously don’t know the full meaning of this yet, but there will be no surprises!” —LAUREN

“Yes! We see them all the time and our lives are enriched because of it.” —LAURA


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