As she anticipates the release of her documentary Hayden & Her Family, the filmmaker reconnects with the mother of 12 she profiled to discuss special needs adoption, parenting outside “normal” boundaries, and how loving a child changes you.
How to Be an Anti-Racist Adoptive Parent
For years, many white adoptive parents of children of color have sought to claim the relatively passive “not-racist” identity, but now is the time to push beyond self-examination into action and become an anti-racist family. Learn how to interrogate your own white privilege; talk with your child about systemic racism, the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and too many others, and the resulting Black Lives Matter protests; and commit to working toward justice.
Mothering Children of Color Who Are Becoming Adults
As my children move into the world without me, I can’t protect them the way I could when they were little. I can’t assume that their lives and actions will be cloaked with the same privilege I was born with.
“From Waiting Mom to Flexible Working Mom”
Adoption allowed me to fulfill my dream of finally becoming a mother, and my flexible work schedule allows me to be the mom I’ve always wanted to be. Here’s how you can make it work, too.
“Finding My Inner Mom”
For years, I felt ambivalence about becoming a parent, and worry that I wouldn’t be a “perfect” mother. In an open letter to my daughter, I look back on that moment of calm and utter clarity when we met.
Ask AF: How to Cope with the Disappointment of Not Being Chosen by an Expectant Mother
"Our adoption profile was shown to an expectant mother, and she selected a different family. We knew this was a possibility, of course, but feel disappointed. How to cope?" Readers offer advice.
Ask AF: Should We Tell Our Child She Has a Birth Sibling if They Can’t Be in Touch?
"Would knowing that somewhere, out in the world, she has a biological sister—but one she can’t get in touch with or live with as a sibling—help our child, or be harmful?"
Parents Share: “When I Knew I Was Going to Adopt”
Parents share the moment they knew in their hearts that their path to parenthood would involve adoption, whether they always knew or it came after years of trying to conceive.
Letters to the Editor, RE: April 2019
Readers share feedback about articles published in the April 2019 issue of Adoptive Families magazine.
“Sliding Doors”
We all imagine different ways our lives could have played out. For adoptees, these fantasies may seem particularly compelling: ‘What would my life have been like if I had not been adopted?’
Parents Share: The “Match Meeting” with an Expectant Mother
"Be yourself" and more real-life advice for the "match meeting" with an expectant mother.
Ask AF: Should I Try to Contact My Children’s Birth Siblings?
A mother who adopted from foster care seeks advice about contacting the adoptive parents of her children's birth siblings. Fellow adoptive parents weigh in.
Media Focus: Lissa Schneckenburger
Lissa Schneckenburger’s new album, Thunder in My Arms, takes foster and adoptive parents on a melodic song cycle about the ongoing effects of early trauma and the healing power of community, understanding, and love. Tune in to learn more.
“What Being a Foster Family Has Taught My Children”
Amazingly, the number one question we’re asked about being a foster family is: “Are you afraid of what they'll teach your children?” So, what have my kids learned? To start—to be open, generous, non-judgmental, thankful for their warm home….
“…and Letting It Be” – My Son’s Transition to College
When I adopted my two sons eight years ago, they couldn’t separate themselves fast enough from their “old” life in Brazil. As I prepared to visit my oldest son two months into his “new” college life—a lifetime for any freshman—I wondered to what extent he might have compartmentalized his now “old” family life.
Parents Share: Birth Sibling Connections
We asked "Does your child have a birth sibling who lives with another adoptive family?" Parents respond and explain how they keep in touch (or why contact isn't possible).
Ask AF: Worried My Daughter Will Think Her Birth Mom Is More “Fun”
"My nine-year-old has been asking me about her birth mother. I was able to find her on social media, but I’m worried about sharing the photos I found."
Parents Share: Deciding What Age Child to Adopt
From newborns to teens to sibling groups, adoptive parents share the thought process behind their age preferences when adopting.
How Did You Prepare Your First Child for a Sibling?
We asked our readers how they introduced the idea of a second child to their first. Here's what they shared for each age group.
Handling Teenage Meltdowns
Your child may see you as less understanding than his birth parents might be. Here's how to cope with teenage temper tantrums.