Inspired by a discussion in the U.S. Adoptive Families group on AdoptiveFamiliesCircle, we asked readers how they selected meaningful gifts for birth parents at the time of placement. Most advised: Keep the present small and personal—it’s the message that counts—and include a heartfelt letter and lots of photos.
“We made a gift basket [photo at right] to take to the hospital, with cute PJs, a cozy robe, slippers, postnatal vitamins, and snacks. Each time I added to the basket, I felt it connected me to the birth mom. She appreciated all the gifts.”
“I am a birth mother, and received a heart necklace from my child’s adoptive parents at the hospital. I love that I can wear it to be reminded of my child, without anyone knowing what it signifies. The birth father received a book from the adoptive father. It was a book about leadership. We are both working professionals, so it was appropriate.”
“We had planned to give the birth parents gift cards to their favorite restaurants. When we met them, though, they brought pictures to share with us. We decided then to get them a new camera as well, so they could keep up their photo album.”
“We gave the birth mother a necklace with three birthstones (hers, the child she parents, and our son’s). We also had a flower arrangement delivered to her at the hospital, simply because most women like flowers. I’m so glad we did. Aside from us, she didn’t have anyone visit her at the hospital.”
“We gave the birth mom of our third child an empty photo album to put pictures in as we sent them. We also wrote her a letter and made a CD of meaningful songs.”
“We gave her a charm that said, ‘The heart remembers,’ and we plan to send her additional charms every Christmas. We have an open adoption and get to see her every few months.”
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