Families Share: “What It Was Like to Work with Our Donor or Surrogate”

We surveyed readers and asked them to tell us about their relationship with their donor or gestational carrier. Here are some of the responses.

egg donor
  • “Our egg donor was an anonymous donor through our fertility clinic. All communications were handled through our donor coordinator, and we don’t have ongoing contact.”
  • “Our gestational surrogate was terrific. She allowed us to go to every doctor appointment with her, and we definitely felt very involved in the pregnancy. We remain in contact with her and see her occasionally even now, nearly five years after our child was born. We’ve also connected with her on Facebook. We expect our contact to continue. Our sperm donor was anonymous.”
  • “We chose an anonymous donation because we felt we’d be more protected. I now regret this decision and wish we had worked with a known donor. After our son was born, I asked the clinic to ask the donor if she would be open to contact after he turns 18. The donor said no. I still feel very sad about this and am anxious about how my son will feel.”
  • “We maintain a semi-open relationship with our three-year-old daughter’s genetic family. I periodically send them photobooks with updates about her. I am so thankful to them for donating their embryos.”

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