Letters to the Editor, RE: October 2016

Readers share feedback about articles from the October 2016 issue of Adoptive Families magazine.

RE: “Parenting with an Open Heart”

As Lori Holden puts it, adoptive and birth parents really need to understand how important it is for kids to know their “biology and biography. Her book should absolutely be required reading for any parent in an adoption situation. It discusses how to be open in adoption, even when there is not or cannot be contact.
Robyn • via Facebook


RE: “Adoption Is Not Second Best”

This was a great article. As the author wrote, adoption is not second place or a consolation prize. I was just complaining (AKA crying) to my husband last night about how disappointed I was with some people’s responses after I tell them we are adopting. It’s like I told them my puppy died or something, they feel so bad for me. But it’s not our job to convert everyone to adoption advocates. We can only share our story and hope to educate those we meet one at a time.
Brittany • via Facebook

I don’t know why, but some people just seem to lose any sense of boundaries when they learn we’re adopting. They say or ask things they would never say to or ask a pregnant couple. This article is a perfect example. We also received all sorts of additional in-depth questioning because we are a multicultural family. You just try to work through what is sincere and disregard what is ignorant—and I never feel compelled to answer ignorance.
Pattie • via Facebook

I was one of those women who got pregnant unexpectedly after adoption. I can say unequivocally that both of my daughters are the best miracles, they are both 100-percent my daughters and both loved more than anything in the world. It does not remotely matter how either one joined our family.
Carrie • via Facebook


RE: “Finding My Place in the Family”

This essay, from the perspective of a birth mother after attending her son’s birthday party, was a great read! I’m praying that our family and friends will be just as welcoming.
David • via Facebook


RE: What Does a Family Want to Hear While Waiting to Adopt?

Like many of the parents who responded, the most helpful to hear when waiting was simply when people would acknowledge it and ask how things were going. It makes you feel less alone and that people haven’t forgotten about you.
Jennifer • via Facebook


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