Ask AF: Writing an Adoption Reference Letter

How can I write a great letter that my friends will show to prospective birth mothers?

Q: A close friend has asked me to write a letter about her and her husband to put in the album they're making for potential birth mothers. I'm honored to be asked, but what should I write?


A: Nelson Handel has written an authoritative guide to help prospective parents write letters to expectant, and many of the tips from Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birth Mother Letter (EasternEdge Press) can be adapted to your situation.

Include intimate anecdotes, and relate them as vividly as possible. Instead of writing, "Their wedding day was very special," describe how you helped your friend choose the cake, and how happy she and her husband looked when they fed it to each other.

Talk about how a baby will fit into their lives. Describe the puppet shows you and your friend put on together when you were kids, and how she can't wait to introduce her child to the same type of play.

Above all, don't make your friends seem like people they're not. The better you communicate their personalities, the love they share, and the things that make them unique, the better their chances of connecting with an expectant mother who shares their outlook.

[mc4wp_form id="30309"]

Adoption Attorneys

[businessdirectory-listings category=10909]

See all adoption attorneys >


You are viewing this exclusive AF content as a guest. To access our full Adoption Parenting Library — plus digital issues, eBooks, expert audio and more — join Adoptive Families today.


Copyright © 1999-2020 Adoptive Families Magazine®. All rights reserved. For personal use only. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

More articles like this


Given email address is already subscribed, thank you!
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later.
Please provide a valid email address.
Thank you, your sign-up request was successful! Please check your e-mail inbox.
Please complete the CAPTCHA.
Please fill in the required fields.