Q: My spouse and I have custody of our three- and four-year-old grandchildren, but we don’t feel we can raise them. Can we stay involved in their lives if we decide on adoption?

A: Open adoption will allow you and your grandchildren to maintain your relationship. If you decide to go this route, use an adoption professional or agency that understands fully open adoption, meaning face-to-face contact between the birth and adoptive families.

You’ll also want to draw up an open adoption agreement, which spells out how frequently you’ll send photos, call, and visit each other. For many families, putting this in writing reinforces the importance of contact in the minds of all involved and leads to the kind of trust that makes a relationship work in the long run.