About a decade ago it was popular to say, “Love sees no color. I really don’t see that my kids are different.” I’m hoping we’ve moved away from that, because it’s just not true. We all notice differences, and, if we say we can’t, we’re denying something.
“Making Time for My Daughter…and Myself”
I have been doing poorly at the job that's the most important in the world to me–being a good mother to my daughter. I accepted my current position in part so I could afford things for her, such as private school. Now I find myself robbing her of the things that mean the most: my time and attention and patience.
[Book Review] Telling The Truth To Your Adopted Or Foster Child: Making Sense Of The Past
Betsy Keefer Smalley and Jayne E. Schooler's book will help parents who are struggling to find the right words to tell an adoption story in a positive and realistic way.
“When I Knew I Was Ready to Adopt”
Even after we turned in our paperwork, I wasn't 100-percent certain I was ready to adopt. But when the time was right, I knew.
“To Those Still Waiting”
Our "adoption journey" was not an easy one. No, our road was bumpy and dark and full of unmarked turns that were gently referred to by our social workers as failed matches or changes of heart. With every disappointment we endured, I struggled with what I call the both/and—holding two conflicting feelings at once.
Ask AF: When a Teen Wants to Know Both Birth Parents
Q: My 14-year-old knows her birth mother, but her birth father never wanted to be a part of her life, and is currently incarcerated. She wrote him a letter several months ago and didn’t get a response, and has been struggling with this. Her older brother has good relationships with both of his birth parents, which I believe makes it harder for her.
“I Have Four Moms”
For many parents who adopted children internationally, a birth mother relationship is uncharted territory.
“Our Happiest Meal”
Last September, after a Saturday morning of shopping with my mother, we stopped for a frozen yogurt. Around 12:15 P.M. I got a call from Kelly Jacobson, a contact at our agency. I presumed it was something volunteer related, as I had been helping out at the agency, so I calmly answered the phone.
“Eli’s First Year Home”
When I adopted an older child, I was prepared to teach him what it means to have a family. Instead, I found myself with a little boy in deep mourning for the loss of his loving foster parents.
“Letting Our Story Soar”
Writing and illustrating a fictional tale about a winged girl named Paloma helped my daughter and me talk about race, identity, and the realities of adoption. As a published book, it’s helping many other families do the same.
“What Plans?”
Adoption can be an unpredictable journey. We never realized just how unpredictable.
“Giving Me Her Quilt — and Her Dream”
When my grandmother handed me her precious quilt and said, "I'm counting on you to have a girl," I knew I wouldn't let her down.
“Paying My Respects to My Son’s Birth Mother”
Our son came to us from foster care, in a closed adoption. So how did I find myself walking through the doors of a dark funeral home, preparing to introduce myself to his other family?
Raising a Child of Color in America — While White
Our country is far from a “post-racial” society, as this last year has demonstrated. How can you ensure that your child will grow up feeling safe, secure in his identity, and close to your family? Commit to calling out racism and fighting injustice wherever you see it.
“A Hunger for Words”
The elusive memory of a kindred spirit has steered me, over the years, toward the heart of my own story.
“Come Play with Me!”
Projective play can help kids work out complex feelings about adoption. So, the next time your child says, "Come play with me!" Make sure you say, "Yes!"
Bringing Up Birth Siblings
Our daughter has birth siblings she doesn't know about, but we don't know how to tell her.
What Will Their Friends Think?
As kids grow up, they look to their friends for acceptance — and desperately want to fit in.
Question Confidence
Other kids are going to ask about it — so prepare your preschooler for questions about adoption.
Identifying Eczema
My son's skin is red, dry, and itchy. What's going on?