Search Results for: open adoption

Color Blindness and Race

Love Sees in Color

About a decade ago it was popular to say, “Love sees no color. I really don’t see that my kids are different.” I’m hoping we’ve moved away from that, because it’s just not true. We all notice differences, and, if we say we can’t, we’re denying something.

Adoptive Motherhood

“Making Time for My Daughter…and Myself”

I have been doing poorly at the job that's the most important in the world to me–being a good mother to my daughter. I accepted my current position in part so I could afford things for her, such as private school. Now I find myself robbing her of the things that mean the most: my time and attention and patience.

Conflicted feelings

“To Those Still Waiting”

Our "adoption journey" was not an easy one. No, our road was bumpy and dark and full of unmarked turns that were gently referred to by our social workers as failed matches or changes of heart. With every disappointment we endured, I struggled with what I call the both/and—holding two conflicting feelings at once.

Adoption Experts answer your questions.

Ask AF: When a Teen Wants to Know Both Birth Parents

Q: My 14-year-old knows her birth mother, but her birth father never wanted to be a part of her life, and is currently incarcerated. She wrote him a letter several months ago and didn’t get a response, and has been struggling with this. Her older brother has good relationships with both of his birth parents, which I believe makes it harder for her.

A young Guatemalan adoptee meeting her birth mother and grandmother

“I Have Four Moms”

For many parents who adopted children internationally, a birth mother relationship is uncharted territory.

Getting the Adoption Call

“Our Happiest Meal”

Last September, after a Saturday morning of shopping with my mother, we stopped for a frozen yogurt. Around 12:15 P.M. I got a call from Kelly Jacobson, a contact at our agency. I presumed it was something volunteer related, as I had been helping out at the agency, so I calmly answered the phone.

A mother and her two sons on their "adoption anniversary"

“Eli’s First Year Home”

When I adopted an older child, I was prepared to teach him what it means to have a family. Instead, I found myself with a little boy in deep mourning for the loss of his loving foster parents.

A cutout from Paloma the Possible

“Letting Our Story Soar”

Writing and illustrating a fictional tale about a winged girl named Paloma helped my daughter and me talk about race, identity, and the realities of adoption. As a published book, it’s helping many other families do the same.

Two children brought together through adoption plans

“What Plans?”

Adoption can be an unpredictable journey. We never realized just how unpredictable.

A white mother raising a child of color

Raising a Child of Color in America — While White

Our country is far from a “post-racial” society, as this last year has demonstrated. How can you ensure that your child will grow up feeling safe, secure in his identity, and close to your family? Commit to calling out racism and fighting injustice wherever you see it.

Sketch of books, representing memories and beginnings

“A Hunger for Words”

The elusive memory of a kindred spirit has steered me, over the years, toward the heart of my own story.

“Come Play with Me!”

Projective play can help kids work out complex feelings about adoption. So, the next time your child says, "Come play with me!" Make sure you say, "Yes!"

A mother preparing her adopted daughter for questions about racial differences

Question Confidence

Other kids are going to ask about it — so prepare your preschooler for questions about adoption.

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