Ask AF: Judgmental Questions About Adoption

After revealing that you adopted your child, you may be surprised by the seemingly judgmental questions you receive about adoption.

Q: My husband and I adopted internationally. Several people have asked us why we did that, when there are “so many children in need of parents right here in our own country.” Perhaps I’m thin-skinned, but this question seems to be judgmental. Am I overreacting? What can I say?


A: Adoption is often a green light for questions, perhaps well-meaning, perhaps just curious, but intrusive. In most cases, it’s best to answer briefly, especially if your child is around. No need to make him a poster child for adoption! You could say, “Having a baby would be a private decision for any family, and so is adoption.” Or, “Kids and parents are meant for each other, and our son was meant for us.” Or, “You’re right, many kids in the U.S. need parents. So, you’re planning to adopt from foster care?”


Authors" title="Permalink to Ask AF: Letting a Preteen Take the Lead in a Birth Parent Relationship" rel="bookmark"> Adoption Experts answer your questions.

Ask AF: Letting a Preteen Take the Lead in a Birth Parent Relationship