Ask AF: Birth Sibling Contact

When kids find out they have birth siblings, they're usually interested in meeting. Here's how parents can help facilitate the relationship.

Q: We just found out that our 16-year-old daughter has a younger sister, who was also adopted domestically. Our daughter would like to meet her sister. Is this a good idea? If so, how should we initiate contact?


A: It’s normal for birth siblings to be interested in one another and to want a relationship. For some, curiosity about siblings is stronger than their curiosity about birth parents.

When children are minors, parents must determine what their children can handle. Most kids do fine meeting birth siblings, and will benefit from a concrete, open relationship. If you decide to put the girls in touch, your first step should be to contact the other girl’s parents to see if they are receptive. If so, the girls might e-mail or write letters before meeting.

If the sisters parents’ aren’t receptive, because of her age or other factors, you and your daughter must respect that decision and wait until they are both older before making contact.


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