Ask AF: Clearly Non-Identical Twins

When you adopt twins that don't look alike, questions and comments may arise. Here's how to deal with them.

Q: Our twins are biracial, and our daughter is much lighter-skinned than our son. What do we say when people comment on how different they look, or think only one of them was adopted?


A: If you introduce your children as twins, hopefully, it won’t be necessary to explain much more. After all, as a boy and a girl, they are obviously not identical twins! A lighthearted tone will help if you are faced with someone really ignorant.

You might say, “Adopting twins was amazing, a ton of work, but well worth it. They are wonderful, and each is so unique that we never had trouble telling them apart! I think one must take after the birth mother, and the other must take after the birth father. Isn’t it cool how that works out?”

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