Maintaining Connections to Your Child's Pre-Adoption History


When an open adoption fades or isn’t possible, adoptive parents find other ways to maintain a connection to their child’s past.

Adoption Experts answer your questions.

Ask AF: Different Levels of Contact

Ask AF: Different Levels of Contact

Our six-year-old son has contact with his birth family. our four-year-old daughter was abandoned at the hospital at birth. After a recent meeting with our son’s birth family, our daughter asked when she can meet her birth family. Should we stop taking her with us on these visits? Is it just confusing her?

death of birth mother

“Paying My Respects to My Son’s Birth Mother”

Our son came to us from foster care, in a closed adoption. So how did I find myself walking through the doors of a dark funeral home, preparing to introduce myself to his other family?

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Birth siblings enjoying each other's company

Bringing Up Birth Siblings

Our daughter has birth siblings she doesn't know about, but we don't know how to tell her.

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Relationship with birth family

“It’s an Adoption Thing”

In this personal essay, one adoptive mother shares her relationship with her daughter's birth family, and the memories that arise as they prepare to visit.

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TheMercyRule600

Book Excerpt: The Mercy Rule

Read an excerpt from Perri Klass' new novel about a pediatrician who grew up in foster care — and now works with similar at-risk patients.

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Becoming a mother in open adoption

“Running to Mommy”

I knew it would be hard for my daughter’s birth mother to give her up. But I didn’t think I’d feel so guilty for taking her.

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An unexpected and emotional meeting with the birth mother of two children adopted from foster care

“Intimate Strangers”: Birth Parent Contact in Foster Adoption

The 894 pages of my daughter's foster care case history described her birth mother's hard life, scarred by poverty, drug addiction, and homelessness. I never expected to meet her—much less like her.

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An illustration of a family

“How Our Family Approached Our Birth Parent Search”

Three families describe their relationships with their children's birth parents — deciding to keep in touch, searching for birth parents, and managing an already open adoption.

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