As foster parents, you hope that the love and security you offer will stay in a child’s heart. When we reconnected with a boy we fostered through two reunifications 14 years ago, we found that it had.
Maintaining Connections to Your Child's Pre-Adoption History
When an open adoption fades or isn’t possible, adoptive parents find other ways to maintain a connection to their child’s past.
Questions About Birth Siblings
Don’t be surprised if your child wants to know about his birth brothers and sisters. Such questions are healthy — and normal.
Ask AF: Different Levels of Contact
Our six-year-old son has contact with his birth family. our four-year-old daughter was abandoned at the hospital at birth. After a recent meeting with our son’s birth family, our daughter asked when she can meet her birth family. Should we stop taking her with us on these visits? Is it just confusing her?
Ask AF: Talking About and Getting to Know Birth Siblings
My 11-year-old has two younger birth siblings who were adopted by another family. That family recently moved into our community. My son often asks if he has siblings. I have not told him yes or no yet, and now it’s so late.
“Music in His Genes”
My son craves the comfort of music the way other kids his age rely on their blankets.
“Paying My Respects to My Son’s Birth Mother”
Our son came to us from foster care, in a closed adoption. So how did I find myself walking through the doors of a dark funeral home, preparing to introduce myself to his other family?
Bringing Up Birth Siblings
Our daughter has birth siblings she doesn’t know about, but we don’t know how to tell her.
“Goodbye, Betty Jean”
Betty Jean Lifton (1926-2010) was an adoption author, advocate, and close friend. I’ll miss her always.
“It’s an Adoption Thing”
In this personal essay, one adoptive mother shares her relationship with her daughter’s birth family, and the memories that arise as they prepare to visit.
Ask AF: Renaming an Older Baby
Answers to your parenting questions.
Book Excerpt: The Mercy Rule
Read an excerpt from Perri Klass’ new novel about a pediatrician who grew up in foster care — and now works with similar at-risk patients.
“Running to Mommy”
I knew it would be hard for my daughter’s birth mother to give her up. But I didn’t think I’d feel so guilty for taking her.
“Intimate Strangers”: Birth Parent Contact in Foster Adoption
The 894 pages of my daughter’s foster care case history described her birth mother’s hard life, scarred by poverty, drug addiction, and homelessness. I never expected to meet her—much less like her.
“How Our Family Approached Our Birth Parent Search”
Three families describe their relationships with their children’s birth parents — deciding to keep in touch, searching for birth parents, and managing an already open adoption.
Ask AF: Talking About Name Changes
Adoption expert Jayne Schooler discusses name changes after adoption, both for children adopted as infants and older adoptees.