All parents long for a peaceful bedtime routine: Read your child a story, kiss her goodnight, and don’t see her again until morning. If you understand how children learn to sleep all night, you can help your child manage her sleep and security needs, as you promote her attachment to you.
“Deciding to Adopt Older Siblings from Foster Care”
At first, we envisioned welcoming a baby into our home. But we soon discovered that adopting older children was right for us.
Baby Shock: Dealing with Post-Adoption Depression
Your beloved child is home! You should be joyful, happy, ecstatic. But instead you’re tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. What’s happening?
Ask AF: My Child Is a Bully
Answers to your parenting questions.
“Making Time for My Daughter…and Myself”
I have been doing poorly at the job that’s the most important in the world to me–being a good mother to my daughter. I accepted my current position in part so I could afford things for her, such as private school. Now I find myself robbing her of the things that mean the most: my time and attention and patience.
Welcome Home: Our Adoption Announcements
We asked AF readers to share their child’s adoption announcements, and we were stunned by the creativity shown in your responses. These are a handful of our favorites.
“The Promise of a Thousand Memories”
“Your baby is coming!” Our daughter’s birth mom, Brooke, had finally gone into labor, almost two weeks late. The call came at 3:30 A.M., and we were out the door by 4 A.M. The toy dangling from the empty car seat rattled like a ticking clock as we drove along the highway for two long hours.
“Our Initiation Into Parenthood”
Our first foster placements were a two-year-old girl and her baby brother. Their last placement had disrupted due to her primal fits. As a child therapist, I dealt with children all day, sometimes for an hour at a time. I told my husband we could handle it. I’ll get back to that later.
“My First Mother’s Day”
My first Mother’s Day took me from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to Chicago. It was the day I was baptized into motherhood.
“A Test of Character”
In June of 2004, while flying with my family to China, I wondered what our new family would be like. Would our two boys, our biological sons, treat their new sister differently? Our oldest, Dakota, was four at the time of our trip, and Cole was almost three.
“The Baby Sister Effect”
An amazing transformation occurred in our family when we brought our newly adopted baby girl home to our two biological sons, then seven and nine. Like other boys their ages, my sons thought mostly about sports, food, Star Wars, playing with their friends, and, occasionally, about school.
“Taking Moms for Granted”
We try to teach our daughter Mariah gratitude. But I know we’re doing something right when she takes us for granted.
“Eli’s First Year Home”
When I adopted an older child, I was prepared to teach him what it means to have a family. Instead, I found myself with a little boy in deep mourning for the loss of his loving foster parents.
“My Nights with Tiana”
So Tiana moved into our bed. As time went on, she began to awaken, startled, reaching her little hand toward my side of the big bed. As soon as she felt me beside her, she would fall back asleep. By her third or fourth month home, Tiana was waking up every 10 minutes to make sure I was beside her. Her panic was palpable.
“Finally Feeling Like Mummy”
I think I finally get it. This, what I feel now, is what being a mummy is supposed to feel like. I had wondered if I would immediately fall in love with my child; I thought I would be certain that he was “the one.” But I didn’t.
“A Hat Just Like Dad’s”
In our newly created transracial family, my husband’s and son’s matching blue hats was a tangible link. Something that said: We belong together.
“Music to My Ears”
At 10, Julia is fully attached to my husband and me. We are a solid forever family, the three of us. But our daughter is still reticent about investing passion elsewhere. There are no posters of Justin Bieber in her room. There is no friend from school she calls her BFF. Not one thing that really, really matters.
The Ins and Outs of Newborn Care
We are planning to adopt a newborn, but know nothing about babies. Help!
Ask AF: Should We Hold a Big Adoption Party?
Answers to your parenting questions.
Ask AF: Fear of Bath Time
Answers to your parenting questions.