Being Mom to “virtual twins”—one African-American, one white; one adopted, one biological—has taught me to validate both of my children for who they are.
White Dad, Black Son
In a society that claims to be “color-blind,” we must parent deliberately.
“What Being Asian Means to Her”
At 13, my daughter is still figuring out who she is. Race is one part of the picture, adoption is another.
“Finding Her Voice After Eight Years Without a First Language”
Since adopting a deaf older child from China, it’s been my privilege to become her interpreter, her voice, her audience, and her mom.
“Becoming His Sister’s Guiding Light”
One year after adopting an infant girl, we adopted a “special needs” child with a cleft lip and palate. Ever since his sister was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, he’s become her guiding light.
“We’re Adopting!” How to Announce Your Decision to Friends and Family
Adoptive Families readers share the when, what, and how of announcing their decision to grow their families.
“20 Years of Letters to Our Son’s Birth Mom”
Though we never heard back from our son’s birth mother, I continued to write, bragging with a motherly pride I thought only she could understand.
Other Brothers (and Sisters!)
Six families share their amazing stories about the power of birth sibling connections.
“Knowing Our Son’s Birth Father”
It has been hard to watch Kenneth struggle as a birth dad in an open adoption. I wish my husband and I could make it easier for him, and for our son.
“Introducing Tessa to Her Birth Father”
After seven years, we decided to bring our daughter’s birth father back into her life. But was she ready for him?
“Blurring the Line”
Mississippi has the largest population of African Americans in the United States, and the color line seems to be drawn in permanent ink or, perhaps, in blood. Because of this, I always believed I would never go back after my daughters came home from Haiti.
“Why Don’t We Ever Visit My Birth Parents?”
After three domestic adoptions, we have three very different levels of openness with each of our children’s birth families.
“We Did Not ‘Save’ Our Son”
Saying Matthew was “saved” implies doubt about his desirability, his worthiness to be adopted. “After all, you didn’t have to take in this baby,” is the unspoken message.
“Beating the Odds”
My prison birth could have set me up for a life of failure. But the love of my families has led me to one of resilience and hope.
“When the Babysitter is…the Birth Mom!”
Though I’m indisputably my daughter’s mom, the time she spends with her birth mother seems to offer something I can’t.
“The Rhythm of Our Lives”
While looking to connect with our children’s culture, we found the beat of the djembe drum would become a comforting family melody.
“Mourning His Birth Mother with the Birth Family”
The tragic loss of our son’s birth mother was followed by a powerful new connection with his birth family.
“Mother’s Day Chocolate”
In one life-changing day, I became a mom. But I took time to savor the sweetness of a dream coming true.
“My Son Who Refused to Give Up”
A doctor predicted our son, who has spina bifida, would never walk. But Mark has shown us what perseverance — and a keen passion — can do.
“Pushing Past My Fears to Become a Single Mother”
A recent “adventure vacation” I took with my daughter brought back memories of the scariest leap of all — becoming a single mom.