One year after my daughter came to live with me from foster care, the memory was still too bittersweet for her. But today, two years after becoming mother and daughter, we are ready to celebrate.
Bonding and New Family Dynamics After Older Child Adoption
When you adopt an older child, it will take time to help her adjust to life in a new family. Find expert advice on older child attachment and read families’ personal stories.
Ask AF: How to Encourage a New-Sibling Bond?
“We adopted our 10-year-old daughter as an infant, and adopted her seven- and eight-year-old biological sisters last month. How can we help all three girls bond with each other?”
“Where We All Belong”
When I was a teen, my parents decided to grow our family by adopting from foster care. How did it feel to suddenly gain four new brothers and sisters through adoption?
Finding Belonging in Pictures
After adopting older children, these parents found that maintaining a family photo album was a useful tool to encourage bonding.
“Front Porch Children”
Being a foster parent is not for the faint of heart. Your heart swells, loves, breaks, and heals with each placement—and it is all, every moment of it, worth it.
“We Are All Adopted”
From my own search for my roots through adopting older children from foster care, life has taught me to treasure my children’s biological connections while knowing that we don’t have to look alike to belong together.
Ask AF: Handling a Difficult Adjustment After Older Child Adoption
A single mother who’s adopting a boy from foster care seeks advice on a challenging older child adoption adjustment. Parents who have adopted older children respond.
“Bonding with My Teen in the Baby Department”
My daughter came to me at nine years old, so neither of us knows what she looked like as a baby, but walking these aisles is a way for us to recreate what we both lost.
“An Unexpected Family”
For eight years, my wife and I watched our chances of having a baby evaporate. Then our eleven-year-old niece came to live with us, bringing with her a bittersweet deliverance.
“The Dog Who Came to Stay”
“Moments after bringing our new puppy home, I understood that raising this dog would begin to create a history for our new daughter, would lodge her firmly within our family. A family pet conjures notions of family ties, of belonging.”
“Sleeping Together as a Family”
At night, each of this mother’s three children wanted to be with mom.
“Winning Our Son’s Trust”
Could our loving home help this hurt, angry boy, or was it already too late?
Keeping Our Children Connected
“We visit and communicate directly with their foster family. These efforts help our sons build and sustain important relationships. They have already experienced too much loss and grief in their young lives.”
Do Adoptees Struggle with Change and Transition?
“My daughter has greater difficulties with transitions than her friends who were born into their families. If we know a transition is coming, we prepare.”
“And Now We Are Three”
Mix one American couple, one preteen Russian boy, and one summer program…and what do you get? Family.
Deborah Gray on Attachment
Adoptive Families sat down for a Q&A with attachment guru Deborah Gray. When will a parent know a bond is in place? How can working parents solidify their connection with a newly adopted child? We asked these questions and more.
“Re-Celebrating My Daughter’s First Nine Birthdays”
My daughter’s tenth birthday was the first birthday party she’d ever had. Here’s how and why we decided to redo all the others.
“Will I Ever Be Able to Love This Child?”
When the first few weeks of parenthood were rocky, I found myself worrying: Did we adopt a child I’ll never be able to love?
“Not Love at First Sight”
When I became the mother to two, and then three, I learned that you can’t love all your children in the same way. But you can love them the same amount.
“Do I Love Him Yet?”
Before adopting an older child, I had never heard of post adoption depression. That’s why it never crossed my mind when I had trouble attaching to my son.