When your child’s classmates have questions, you can provide the answers.
Talking About Adoption with Children
Children who joined their families through adoption need to know how adoption works, to feel free to ask questions (and get honest answers), and to learn any details you know about their birth families. Find talking tips below.
Some of our kids turn into perfectionists during grade school. Is there a link to adoption?
Questions from their peers get more complicated for our teens—and their peers’ questions may reflect their own worries about adoption.
By now, you and your teen have established a firm family bond. But outsiders may not see it that way.
Your preschooler may hit you with surprising questions at the most unexpected times and places!
Watching an engaging TV series that features a relevant storyline is a fun, low-pressure way to get your child talking about adoption. Here are five shows that mostly get it right.
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
“I adopted my grandson through a kinship adoption. He’s now six and has recently begun calling me ‘Mommy’ and saying he was in my tummy. Is this OK, or do I need to reiterate that I’m his grandmother?”
“My daughter, who was adopted internationally, has been saying she wishes she got to see her birth mother, like her close friend who has a very open adoption. What can I say to her?”
“After my daughter told classmates that she was adopted, they responded that they ‘feel sorry’ for her. What can I do to help?”
After a late-summer day at the beach led to wistful new questions, this mom learned that talking about adoption with her child isn’t always straightforward.
My daughter came to me at nine years old, so neither of us knows what she looked like as a baby, but walking these aisles is a way for us to recreate what we both lost.
“How do we disclose a lifelong medical condition to our child, and talk with her about lacking any information about her birth parents?”
As my daughter grows up, a typical, American kid, we are free to imagine only happy endings for the family she left behind.
As kids meet new friends—and their families—they face new questions about their past.
When parents expect the worst from their children, they often get it.
On the crowded shelf of children’s books about adoption from China, don’t overlook The Red Blanket, a book by Eliza Thomas, with irresistible illustrations by Joe Cepeda.
Our seven-year-old daughter knows her adoption story, but, lately, she’s been asking a lot of questions about why she was ‘given up.’
Our daughter’s birth mother says she has no idea who the birth father is. We don’t know his first name or even the color of his hair.
My younger daughter adopted her sister’s child. My granddaughter’s now eight, and knows that she was adopted, but she doesn’t know that her “Auntie” is her birth mother.